A Colleague's Inconsistent Discipline Practice
You share a classroom with an aide who has worked there for years. You notice that when children argue over toys, she takes the toy away from both and puts it on a high shelf for the rest of the morning, telling them 'you can't share, so nobody gets it.' You use a problem-solving approach: help children name the problem, generate solutions, and choose one. Several children have begun telling you, 'She'll take it away,' and one child now hides toys when the aide approaches. The aide is senior to you in tenure but not in role, and your director has asked you to 'work it out together.'
1. Analyze the effects of the two inconsistent approaches on children's behavior and learning, and explain why the inconsistency itself is a problem.
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The aide's consequence removes the toy from both children regardless of who was involved, so it does not teach sharing or problem-solving and it punishes the child who was not at fault. Children learn that conflict leads to loss and that adults arbitrate by removal, not that they can resolve disputes. Your approach teaches language and negotiation, but its benefit depends on consistency. The inconsistency is itself harmful: children cannot predict outcomes, so they test and hide (as the child hiding toys shows), and they learn that rules depend on which adult is present. That undermines the sense of a safe, predictable environment that supports self-regulation. The two approaches also send conflicting messages about whether children are capable of solving problems. The goal is not for one adult to win but for the classroom to have one predictable, developmentally appropriate response.
2. The director asks you to resolve this with the aide. Outline a plan that respects her experience while moving toward consistent practice.
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Approach her privately and frame the issue around shared goals and specific observations, not criticism of her. Acknowledge her experience and that removing a contested toy is a common, well-intentioned strategy. Share what you have observed: children saying 'she'll take it away' and one child hiding toys, which suggests the current response is creating anxiety rather than teaching. Propose a shared routine both of you can use: when a conflict arises, help children state the problem, offer two solutions, and choose one; if they cannot, the adult supports rather than removes. Agree to try it for two weeks and check in. Involve the director as a resource for a brief joint planning conversation if needed, since the director already asked you to work it out. Keep the focus on children's learning and predictability, and document the agreement so follow-through is shared.