The Wedding Party and the Designated Driver
A 40-person wedding reception is booked in your banquet room. The party has prepaid for a hosted bar for four hours. The groom's brother, who is 24, is clearly the heaviest drinker - he has had six drinks in two hours and is loud, flushed, and unsteady on his feet. The bride's father, who is paying, tells you 'keep them coming, it's a wedding.' A woman in the party, about 30, tells you she is the designated driver and asks for a soda; she is sober and will drive four guests home. The hosted bar means guests do not pay per drink, so there is no price signal slowing consumption.
1. How does the hosted-bar arrangement change your service approach, and what do you do about the groom's brother?
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A hosted bar removes the natural brake of cost and per-drink payment, so consumption tends to rise. Adjust by: pacing service (do not let servers make rounds automatically), offering water and food prominently, using smaller pours or single drinks rather than doubles, and checking in with the party host about a cutoff plan.
The groom's brother is showing clear impairment: six drinks in two hours, flushed, loud, unsteady. Cut him off now regardless of who is paying. The father's 'keep them coming' does not override your legal and policy obligation; the host cannot consent to over-service on the guest's behalf. Offer him water and food, and tell the host privately that his brother has been cut off.
2. The designated driver identifies herself. How do you use that information, and what is your responsibility at the end of the night?
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Thank her, confirm she is not drinking, and make sure she has easy access to soda and water. Do not assume the DD role is permanent - check near the end of the night that she is still sober and still driving.
At closing: confirm the four guests she is taking are not too impaired to be passengers safely, and that she has not had anything to drink. If she has, arrange alternate transport. Your responsibility does not end when the bar closes - you have a role in making sure impaired guests do not drive. Keep the DD's name and the arrangement noted. If the groom's brother insists on driving, that is the moment to involve the manager and, if necessary, police.