Two Endings for a Short Story: Point of View and Reliability
A student drafts a short story about a caretaker named Ines who tends an elderly neighbor, Mr. Okafor. In draft A, the story is told by Ines in first person: "I knew he had hidden the letters. He always hid things from me." In draft B, the same events are told by a limited third-person narrator focused on Mr. Okafor: "He watched Ines move through the kitchen, certain she was looking for something." In both drafts, the letters are never found, and the story ends with the two of them eating dinner in silence. The student's teacher says draft A "feels more suspicious" and draft B "feels sadder," though the events are identical. The student asks which draft better serves the story's theme of mutual mistrust.
1. Explain how the shift in point of view produces the different emotional effects the teacher noticed, using specific details from the two quoted lines.
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The events are the same, but the reader's access to each character's mind changes, and that access determines where suspicion seems to live.
In draft A, Ines narrates in first person and asserts "I knew he had hidden the letters." The reader sits inside her certainty, so her suspicion becomes the story's atmosphere. The line "He always hid things from me" uses the absolute "always," which reads as a fixed belief rather than a verified fact. Because we only have her perspective, the reader may suspect her interpretation, which creates unease and makes the draft feel more suspicious.
In draft B, the narrator stays close to Mr. Okafor: "certain she was looking for something." Now his suspicion organizes the scene, and Ines's movements are filtered through his interpretation. The reader sees his loneliness and his guardedness from inside, which invites sympathy and makes the silent dinner feel sadder.
In short, first person anchors the reader in Ines's suspicion; limited third person on Mr. Okafor anchors the reader in his. The theme of mutual mistrust is present in both, but each draft makes one side the center of gravity.
2. If the theme is mutual mistrust, which draft better serves it, and what revision would strengthen the weaker draft without changing the plot? Justify your choice with evidence from the setup.
Read the worked answer
Draft B better serves mutual mistrust, because mutual requires the reader to feel both sides. In draft B, Mr. Okafor's suspicion is rendered directly ("certain she was looking for something"), while Ines's suspicion remains visible only through his interpretation of her. That asymmetry leaves her side underdeveloped, but it can be fixed by small additions rather than a rewrite.
A stronger revision keeps the third-person focus on Mr. Okafor but lets Ines's suspicion surface through observable behavior he misreads: she lingers at the drawer, asks a question about the mail, then withdraws. The reader can infer her suspicion while Mr. Okafor misinterprets it, so both characters are mistrustful and both are partly wrong.
Draft A is the weaker choice for this theme because first-person narration locks the reader inside Ines's certainty. Her absolute claim ("He always hid things") makes her suspicion the whole frame, so Mr. Okafor's parallel suspicion can only be reported, not felt. The result is one-sided suspicion rather than mutual mistrust. The ending's silence then reads as her defeat rather than a shared failure, which changes the theme even though the events are identical.