Register Slip in a Formal Email
A student writes a 120-word formal email for the writing task, addressed to the gemeente about a broken streetlight. The draft opens 'Hé gemeente, ff een vraagje' and closes 'Groetjes, Sam'. It contains the required content points (location, duration, safety risk) and accurate grammar in the main clauses. The teacher must decide whether this sits at the top band, and notes the task instruction said 'Schrijf een formele e-mail aan de gemeente' and that the assessment criteria weight register and conventions alongside content and accuracy.
1. How should the teacher weigh strong content and grammar against the register failure? Justify with reference to how writing is assessed.
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Register is not a cosmetic layer; it is part of whether the task was completed. A formal email that opens with 'Hé' and 'ff' and closes with 'Groetjes' has answered the content but misidentified the audience, so it cannot sit in the top band even where clauses are accurate.
The accurate grammar earns credit under language, and the three content points earn credit under content, but the salutation and closing fall under conventions and register, which are separately assessed. The result is a mid-band response: solid language, wrong genre.
The judgement call is to resist averaging - strong grammar should not launder a register error, and a register error should not erase correct content.
2. Provide a corrected opening and closing, and list three lexical substitutions the student should make throughout.
Read the worked answer
Opening: Geachte heer, mevrouw, or Beste mevrouw De Vries, (named recipient if known). Closing: Met vriendelijke groet, followed by the full name.
Substitutions:
- 'ff' / 'even' → remove entirely or use 'bij deze' / 'graag'.
- 'vraagje' (diminutive) → 'vraag' or 'verzoek'; diminutives signal informality.
- 'Hé' → 'Geachte'; and replace any 'jullie' with 'u' consistently.
Also add a subject line ('Betreft: defecte straatverlichting, [straatnaam]') and sign with voor- en achternaam, since these are conventions the formal genre expects and markers look for.