Persuasive Speech on a Local Issue: Balancing Pathos and Evidence
For the topic of community and environment, you must deliver a 3-minute persuasive speech (roughly 400 words) to your school council, arguing that the school should keep its small vegetable garden instead of paving it for extra parking. You have: one survey of 120 students (78 say they use the garden at least once a term), a maintenance cost of $600 per year, and a waiting list of 15 students for the gardening club. A councillor has said publicly that 'the garden is a nice idea but not a real subject'. Your draft opens with a long emotional story about your grandfather's farm and reaches the evidence only in the final 40 seconds. The council votes immediately after the speeches, with no discussion.
1. Restructure the speech so evidence and emotion work together given the immediate vote. State where the personal story belongs and why.
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Move the evidence forward and shorten the story. With an immediate vote and no discussion, councillors must leave the room able to state your case in one sentence, so the claim and the strongest number should arrive in the first 30 seconds: 78 of 120 students use the garden at least once a term, and 15 are waiting to join the club. The story should then illustrate one number rather than replace it - place a compressed version (two or three sentences, not a minute) immediately after the survey figure, so it humanises the 78 rather than delaying them.
Structure: claim → headline evidence → brief illustration → cost rebuttal ($600 per year is the figure to confront, not avoid) → counter-argument to 'not a real subject' → concrete ask. Emotion placed after evidence reads as illustration; emotion placed before evidence reads as a delay, which is fatal when no discussion follows.
2. The councillor says the garden is 'not a real subject'. Construct the rebuttal, and say what evidence you would NOT use and why.
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Rebuttal: reframe 'real subject' as a claim about learning, then meet it on that ground. The garden supports the science curriculum (plant growth, soil, seasons) and the club's waiting list shows sustained voluntary demand, not a one-off event. 78/120 using it at least once a term is a participation rate, not an anecdote. The ask should be modest and testable: retain the garden for one more year and review the $600 against participation data.
Evidence not to use: unsupported claims that the garden improves grades or mental health, since you have no data for either; and the grandfather story as proof of anything - it is illustration, not evidence, and a councillor can dismiss it as sentiment. Also avoid attacking the councillor personally; rebut the claim, not the person. Conceding that $600 is real money strengthens credibility before you argue it is small relative to the benefit.
3. Write the opening 60 words of the speech in Korean, using an appropriate speech register, and explain two register choices.
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Model opening (Korean, approx. 60 words): '존경하는 학생회 여러분, 저는 오늘 우리 학교의 작은 텃밭을 지켜 달라고 말씀드리려고 합니다. 지난 학기 설문에서 학생 120명 중 78명이 적어도 한 학기에 한 번은 텃밭을 이용한다고 답했습니다. 텃밭은 비용이 많이 드는 시설이 아닙니다. 1년에 600달러, 학생 한 명당 커피 몇 잔 값입니다. 그런데도 지금 텃밭을 없애면, 가꾸기를 기다리는 학생 15명은 갈 곳이 없어집니다.'
Register choices: (1) '말씀드리려고 합니다' - humble verb 말씀드리다 plus 합니다체, appropriate for addressing a council in a formal speech; plain 드리다 would be less elevated and -다 style too abrupt for a public address. (2) '지켜 달라고' - indirect request with -아/어 달라고, which softens the demand while keeping it a request to the audience; a direct imperative ('지키십시오') would sound like an order to people who hold the vote. The honorific noun 여러분 with -께서 is not needed here because the predicate is the speaker's own action.