Choosing register for a school presentation about a exchange year
You are a Year 12 Swedish student preparing a 4-minute oral presentation (presenting information and ideas) about your exchange year in Uppsala. The audience is your Swedish class and two teachers. You have 6 slides and a strict time limit. Your draft opens with 'Hej alla! Jag tänkte berätta lite om mitt år i Uppsala...' and uses many filler phrases ('liksom', 'på något sätt', 'det var jättebra'). Your teacher's feedback says: 'Du måste låta mer strukturerad och professionell, men fortfarande personlig.' You have 40 minutes to revise. The presentation is assessed on structure, range of language, and engagement with the audience.
1. How should you revise the opening and overall structure to meet the teacher's feedback while keeping it personal?
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The feedback asks for two things at once: structure/professionalism and personal tone. The opening 'Hej alla! Jag tänkte berätta lite om...' is too vague and conversational for a 4-minute assessed talk. A better opening names the topic and gives a hook, e.g. 'Hur förändras man av ett år utomlands? Jag tillbringade ett år i Uppsala, och idag vill jag visa tre saker jag lärde mig.' This is still personal (first person, a question) but signals structure. For the body, replace filler with signposting: 'För det första...', 'Det ledde till...', 'Som ni ser på bilden...'. Cut 'liksom' and 'på något sätt' because they reduce clarity and range. Keep concrete personal details (a host family, a specific class) so it stays personal. Allocate roughly 45 seconds per slide to fit 4 minutes, and end with a short reflection rather than a trailing 'det var jättebra'. This answers the judgement call: professional does not mean impersonal; it means controlled structure and precise language.
2. Your teacher also says you speak too fast when nervous. What concrete changes to the script and delivery would you make in 40 minutes?
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In 40 minutes you cannot memorise a new script, so make targeted edits. First, shorten sentences: long sentences with many subordinate clauses force rushed delivery. Break them into two. Second, insert explicit pause markers in the script after key points (e.g. after the hook and after each 'För det första...'). Third, reduce the number of ideas per slide to one main point plus one example, so you have less to say and can slow down. Fourth, practise aloud twice with a timer, aiming to finish at 3 minutes 40 seconds, leaving buffer. Fifth, mark stressed words so intonation carries meaning instead of speed. These changes serve the assessment criteria: clearer structure, better engagement, and more controlled range. The judgement is to prioritise delivery control over adding more content, since the rubric rewards clarity and audience engagement, not volume of information.