Editing a formal email: accuracy versus fluency
You are writing a 150-word email in Swedish to a local sports club to ask about joining a badminton group. Your draft includes: 'Jag skulle vilja fråga om ni har några platser kvar?', 'Jag har spelat badminton i tre år, så jag är ganska bra', and 'Hör av er snart'. You have 15 minutes to revise before submission. The assessment rewards appropriate register, accurate grammar (word order, verb forms), and clear purpose. You are unsure whether 'ganska bra' is too informal and whether 'Hör av er snart' is too demanding.
1. Which revisions would most improve register and accuracy, and why?
Read the worked answer
Prioritise register and word order, since these affect meaning and tone. 'Jag skulle vilja fråga om ni har några platser kvar?' is acceptable but wordy; 'Jag undrar om ni har platser kvar i badmintongruppen' is more direct and formal. 'Jag är ganska bra' is self-promoting and slightly informal; replace with a factual statement: 'Jag har spelat i tre år och trivs bäst i grupp.' 'Hör av er snart' can sound demanding; 'Jag ser fram emot att höra från er' is polite and standard in Swedish formal email. Check verb-second word order in main clauses and correct forms after 'om' (subordinate clause word order: 'om ni har', not 'om har ni'). These edits improve register, remove ambiguity, and show control of formal conventions. The judgement is to fix tone and structure first, then grammar, rather than polishing vocabulary.
2. How would you decide what to leave unchanged when time is short?
Read the worked answer
Triage by assessment weight and risk. Register errors and word-order mistakes are high-risk because they are explicit criteria and can change meaning or politeness. Vocabulary upgrades are lower priority if the original word is already correct. So leave accurate, neutral sentences alone even if they are plain, and spend time on the greeting, closing, and any clause beginning with 'om', 'att', or 'som', where Swedish word order often slips. Also check the purpose is stated in the first two sentences, because a reader should know why you are writing immediately. Do not rewrite the whole email in 15 minutes; targeted edits reduce the chance of introducing new errors. The judgement is risk-based editing under time pressure, matching effort to marking criteria.