Deciding how to accept a compliment
You have just finished a Korean speech at a school event in Perth. A Korean teacher says, 발음이 정말 좋네요! 한국 사람 같아요. Your instinct is to say 아니에요, 별로 못했어요 (no, I wasn't good). A Korean-Australian friend tells you that denying it sounds 'fake' and that you should just say 감사합니다. A third friend says you should say 아직 많이 부족해요 (I'm still lacking a lot). You want to be culturally appropriate and honest, and you have one minute before the next speaker.
1. Which response is most appropriate, and what does each option signal?
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A balanced response works best: 감사합니다. 아직 많이 부족하지만 열심히 하겠습니다. 감사합니다 alone accepts the compliment but can seem brief; 아니에요, 별로 못했어요 is the traditional modest denial and is still common, but to some listeners it can sound like fishing for more praise or rejecting the teacher's judgement; 아직 많이 부족해요 expresses humility without rejecting the compliment outright. Combining thanks with humility signals respect and sincerity. Context matters: to a teacher, some humility is expected, so the combined form is safer than bare 감사합니다.
2. Why might the Korean-Australian friend and the third friend disagree, and how do you decide?
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They are weighing different norms. The Korean-Australian friend may be reacting to how repeated denial can sound performative, especially in English-dominant settings where accepting praise is normal. The third friend is drawing on Korean humility norms where lowering yourself shows respect. Neither is simply wrong. I would decide by audience and relationship: with a Korean teacher at a formal event, a short humble acceptance fits; with close friends, a lighter 고마워요, 칭찬 감사해요 may fit better. I would also avoid over-denying, because that can put the compliment-giver in an awkward position.
3. How would you explain your choice to the Korean-Australian friend afterwards?
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I would say: 네 말도 맞아. 그냥 '아니에요'만 하면 칭찬을 거절하는 것처럼 들릴 수 있어서, 고맙다고 하고 겸손하게 덧붙였어. I would explain that I wanted to thank the teacher and still show humility, and that I did not mean to be fake. I would ask how his family usually responds, showing that I value his perspective. This keeps the conversation about norms rather than about who is 'more Korean', which respects his Korean-Australian identity.