Rewriting an over-long complaint email to fit a word limit
A B2 learner must write a 120–150 word email of complaint to a hotel about a ruined stay. Her first draft is 260 words. It opens 'I am writing to you because I want to complain about something that happened during my stay which was very bad', spends 90 words narrating her journey and the weather, mentions the noisy room and the missing breakfast in one long sentence, and ends 'I hope you will do something about this.' She has good vocabulary and complex sentences, but the key facts (dates, room number, the specific problem, the remedy she wants) are buried or absent. She has 25 minutes in the exam and used 15 on this draft. She asks: 'Can I just cut words to get under the limit?'
1. Explain why word-cutting alone will not fix this draft, and identify what the task actually rewards.
Read the worked answer
Cutting words treats length as the problem; the real problem is missing content and buried structure. If she simply deletes 110 words, she will most likely cut the background (fine) but also thin the complaint itself, leaving the dates, room number and requested remedy still absent. The email would then be short and still fail the content criterion.
The task rewards four things: a clear purpose stated early, the specific facts needed for the hotel to act (dates of stay, room number, what went wrong, what she wants - refund, room change, compensation), a logical order (complaint → evidence → requested action), and an appropriate register (firm but polite, no over-apologising). Her draft has the register roughly right but fails purpose, facts and structure. The 90 words on journey and weather are irrelevant and should go entirely, which alone saves the space needed for the facts. So the instruction is: rewrite to a plan, not trim to a count. Decide the four facts first, then write to fit them.
2. Provide a planning scaffold she can use in the exam, and a model opening and closing she could adapt.
Read the worked answer
Scaffold (spend 3 minutes):
- Line 1 - purpose: 'I am writing to complain about my stay on [dates] in room [number].'
- Lines 2–3 - the two specific problems with one detail each (noise from the bar until 2 a.m.; breakfast not provided on either morning despite being booked).
- Line 4 - impact in one sentence (no sleep before a business meeting; had to buy breakfast elsewhere).
- Line 5 - the remedy requested, stated concretely (a partial refund of £X or a complimentary night).
- Line 6 - polite close with a deadline for reply.
Model opening: 'I am writing to complain about my stay at your hotel from 3 to 5 May in room 412.' Model closing: 'I would be grateful for a response within 14 days confirming how you intend to resolve this. I look forward to hearing from you.'
This scaffold keeps her within 120–150 words because each element is one or two sentences; the irrelevant narrative has no slot, so it cannot creep back in. The closing gives a specific action and a timeframe, which her original 'I hope you will do something' lacks. In the remaining 10 minutes she writes to the scaffold, then checks the word count and that all four facts are present.