Peer Mentor and a Mentee in Distress
You are a second-year peer mentor in a six-week orientation program for 12 first-year students. Attendance is tracked, and mentors must flag any student who misses two consecutive sessions to the program coordinator. One of your mentees, Maya, has missed three sessions. You find her in the library at 9 p.m. crying over a textbook. She says she is fine, just tired, and asks you not to tell anyone because she fears losing her scholarship if staff think she cannot cope. You notice she has lost weight and mentions she has not eaten since breakfast. She refuses to go to the campus health center. The coordinator's office is closed until morning, and Maya asks you to promise to keep this between you. You have a group presentation at 8 a.m. tomorrow. Your mentor handbook says safety concerns override confidentiality, but it does not define what counts as a safety concern.
1. What are the most important considerations as you decide how to respond to Maya in this moment?
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Several considerations compete. The first is immediate safety: Maya is distressed, has not eaten since breakfast, has lost weight, and is refusing the health center. These are warning signs that should not be dismissed, even if she says she is fine. The second is trust: as a peer mentor, I need Maya to feel heard, not managed. A promise of absolute secrecy would be dishonest because the mentor role has limits and the handbook says safety concerns override confidentiality. The third is scope: I am not a clinician and should not diagnose her, but I can connect her with appropriate support. The fourth is timing and practicality: the coordinator's office is closed, I have a presentation at 8 a.m., and Maya fears scholarship consequences. I would distinguish between privacy (not gossiping) and secrecy (withholding safety information). I would also consider cultural and personal factors that might make her wary of official services. The goal is to keep the door open while being transparent about what I must do if I believe she is at risk.
2. What would you say to Maya in this moment, and why?
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I would start with empathy and a direct observation: 'I can see you are really struggling, and I am glad you told me. I am not going to pretend I did not notice.' I would ask an open question: 'What would be most helpful right now?' rather than jumping to a solution. I would offer concrete, low-barrier help: getting food together, sitting with her while she calls a crisis line, or walking to the health center if she changes her mind. I would avoid promising secrecy. Instead I would say, 'I want to be honest with you: I can keep most things private, but if I think you are in danger, I have to share that with the coordinator so you can get proper support. I would tell you before I did that.' This preserves trust while setting a boundary. I would not debate her fear about the scholarship in the moment; I would acknowledge it and offer to help her think through options later. The immediate aim is safety and connection, not solving every problem tonight.
3. How would you handle the request for confidentiality and the reporting requirement?
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I would be transparent early rather than waiting until after she shares more. I would explain the limits of my role before asking sensitive questions, so she can choose what to disclose. I would not promise to keep a safety concern secret. In the morning, or sooner if her risk escalates, I would contact the coordinator and frame it as a welfare concern, not a disciplinary issue. I would involve Maya in the report where possible: tell her what I am sharing, why, and who will see it. I would report only what is necessary, not every detail of our conversation. If I believed there was imminent risk, I would not wait for the office to open; I would call campus security or emergency services. I would also document the interaction factually and note the actions I took. Finally, I would follow up with Maya afterward so she does not feel abandoned by the process. Confidentiality is about respecting her privacy, not about hiding information that could keep her safe.