Plastic Bottle Argument Draft
Assignment: “Write a short argument for or against a school policy. State a clear claim, support it with at least two relevant reasons, acknowledge one counterargument, and cite at least one credible source.” A student submits this draft: “Our school should ban plastic water bottles. Plastic is bad for the environment. Many students use bottles. The school store sells them. If we ban them, students will bring reusable bottles. This will save money and help the planet. Everyone agrees.” The teacher must decide whether the draft is ready to revise or needs a conference first.
1. Evaluate the draft against the assignment. Identify two specific missing or weak elements, quoting the draft where possible.
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Two specific gaps:
- No credible source. The assignment requires at least one credible source, but the draft offers none. “Plastic is bad for the environment” and “This will save money” are assertions without evidence.
- No counterargument. The draft never acknowledges an objection, such as cost, convenience, or students who cannot afford reusable bottles. “Everyone agrees” is an unsupported overgeneralization and actually weakens the argument.
The claim is clear, but the reasons are vague and the support is missing, so the draft is not ready as a final submission.
2. Rewrite the thesis statement so it is precise, arguable, and appropriate for the assignment. Do not write the whole essay.
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Model thesis: “Our school should ban single-use plastic water bottles in the cafeteria and vending machines because the ban would reduce plastic waste and lower the school’s disposal costs.”
This is precise (it names the policy and locations), arguable (a reader could disagree), and it previews two reasons that can be supported with evidence. It does not rely on “everyone agrees” or vague claims about the planet.
3. The teacher has 10 minutes. Should the teacher hold a conference or give written feedback? Justify using the draft’s needs and the time limit.
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With only 10 minutes, written feedback is the better choice. The draft’s biggest problems are structural-missing source and missing counterargument-and the student can act on a short checklist: (1) replace the vague thesis with a precise claim, (2) add one credible source for the environmental or cost reason, (3) add one counterargument and a response. The teacher can write a model thesis and two prompts. A conference would be useful for helping the student generate a thesis, but 10 minutes is too short to address all three gaps. The teacher should reserve a conference only if the student cannot revise the thesis from the written model.