Cohesion and Range in a Free-Response Article
The free-response section of the school's mock CSEC Spanish Paper 3 asks students to write a short article of about 150 words for the school magazine: '¿Por qué es útil aprender español?' Ravi's draft has six short paragraphs, each one or two sentences. He writes: 'Aprender español es bueno. Muchas personas hablan español. Yo quiero viajar. Es importante para el trabajo. Me gusta la música. It is very important.' He repeats 'bueno', 'importante' and 'muchas personas'. He uses no connectors except 'y'. There is one sentence in English because he did not know 'muy'. The marking scheme rewards content (8), language (8), organisation (4). The teacher must decide whether the English sentence is a language error or a communication breakdown, how to score organisation when paragraphs are present but underdeveloped, and what model text to show without giving a memorised essay.
1. Rank Ravi's three main weaknesses in order of impact on the marking scheme. Justify your ranking.
Read the worked answer
Rank content first, language second, organisation third, while noting that all three interact. Content is the biggest weakness because the article does not develop reasons: it lists six general statements without examples, explanation or a sense of audience. With content worth 8 marks, this limits the score more than a single English sentence. Language is next: the English sentence is a visible breakdown, but the deeper issue is narrow range and repetition ('bueno', 'importante', 'muchas personas'), which affects the 8 language marks across the whole text. Organisation is third only because it is worth 4 marks; the six paragraphs are technically separated, but they are underdeveloped and not linked. The teacher should not treat the English sentence as the only problem, nor ignore it: it signals that Ravi lacks a resource for emphasis, but it is one symptom of limited range.
2. Propose a paragraph plan for the article that would meet the content requirement in about 150 words.
Read the worked answer
Use four paragraphs. Paragraph 1: introduce the topic and state a clear position, for example that Spanish is useful for travel, work and culture. Paragraph 2: develop travel and communication, with a concrete example such as using Spanish in a market or airport. Paragraph 3: develop work and study, naming a specific advantage such as customer service, tourism or international trade. Paragraph 4: develop culture and personal interest, such as music, film or literature, then conclude with a recommendation for students. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea, one supporting example and one connector ('además', 'por ejemplo', 'sin embargo', 'por eso'). This plan meets content because it explains why, not just what. It also gives Ravi a structure that naturally uses connectors, which addresses organisation and language at the same time.
3. Rewrite Ravi's final two sentences to improve cohesion and avoid English. Explain the choices.
Read the worked answer
Original: 'Me gusta la música. It is very important.' A revised version: 'Además, me gusta la música en español porque me ayuda a aprender nuevas palabras. Por eso, creo que aprender español es muy importante para los estudiantes.' The revision adds 'Además' to link the music point to the previous idea, and 'porque' to give a reason rather than a bare statement. 'Por eso' signals a conclusion, which is exactly what the final sentence should do. The English sentence is replaced with 'es muy importante', using 'muy' correctly and keeping the emphasis. The choice of 'creo que' makes the conclusion personal and appropriate for a school magazine article. The teacher should show this as one possible version, not as a text to memorise, and ask Ravi to generate a second ending with a different connector.