A Late Train and a 30-Word Email
Aya is an EIKEN Grade 3 candidate staying with the Smith family in England for two weeks. On Friday she takes a train from Brighton to their house. She planned to arrive at 17:40, and the family plans to eat dinner at 18:00. At 16:30 the train stops between stations and the conductor announces a 40-minute delay. Aya's phone has no internet, so she writes a short email to Mrs. Smith. The writing task says: 'Write an email of 25 to 35 words. In your email, (1) tell Mrs. Smith your new arrival time and (2) ask one question about dinner.' Aya's draft is: 'Dear Mrs. Smith, I am sorry. My train is delayed. I will arrive at 18:20. I am hungry. Aya.' She is not sure whether her draft does everything the task asks.
1. Check Aya's draft against the task, point by point. Is each required point present? Is the word count acceptable?
Read the worked answer
- Required point 1, new arrival time: Present and correct. 17:40 plus 40 minutes is 18:20, and she writes 18:20.
- Required point 2, one question about dinner: Missing. 'I am hungry' is a statement about herself, not a question, and it does not ask Mrs. Smith anything. Mrs. Smith cannot answer it.
- Word count: The draft is about 19 words including the greeting and name. The task asks for 25 to 35, so it is too short.
- Tone: 'I am sorry' is polite and acceptable, but it does not replace a required point.
So the draft fails on two counts: no question, and too few words. A candidate who checks the task's two numbered points before counting words avoids both errors.
2. Rewrite the email so it does both required jobs in 25 to 35 words. Explain what you changed, what you left out, and why.
Read the worked answer
Model email
Dear Mrs. Smith, My train is 40 minutes late. I will arrive at 6:20 p.m. Should I eat something before I come, or will dinner wait? Aya
Word count: 27 words, inside the 25-35 range.
Changes and reasons
- I kept the arrival time and added the reason in three words, '40 minutes late', so Mrs. Smith understands why the plan changed.
- I replaced 'I am hungry' with one clear question about dinner. The task asks for exactly one question, and this one lets Mrs. Smith plan the meal.
- I dropped 'I am sorry'. An apology is polite but not required, and in a 25-35 word task every word must do a job. Keeping both the apology and a full question would risk pushing the email over 35 words.
- I left out the train name, the station and the reason for the delay. None of these helps Mrs. Smith decide about dinner.