Editing a School Notice: Register, Grammar and Translation

Four problems are clear-cut; the fifth depends on the variety of English being used.

• 'The library committee are' - collective-noun agreement. In formal school English the committee acts as one body, so 'is' is expected. (Plural agreement is acceptable in some varieties, but the notice must be consistent; here 'is' fits a single official announcement.)
• 'Students which' - wrong relative pronoun. Use 'who' for people: 'Students who have borrowed books…'
• 'must to submit' - modal verbs take the bare infinitive: 'must submit'.
• 'their favourite book' - number agreement. 'Each class' is singular, and 'their' is plural; the cleanest fix is 'Each class must submit a list of its favourite books', which also allows more than one title.
• 'After finishing the book, the teacher should be informed' - a dangling participle. The opening phrase describes whoever finished the book, but the subject of the main clause is 'the teacher'. Rewrite: 'When you have finished the book, inform your teacher.'
• 'So, guys, don't be lazy' - not a slip of grammar but a register failure: slang plus an accusation, addressed to the whole school, including parents reading the board.

Use 'All students are encouraged to take part in the scheduled activities.'

• Audience. The notice is read by students, teachers, the principal and visiting parents. 'Guys' presumes a familiarity the notice does not have and excludes anyone who does not recognise themselves as one of the 'guys'.
• Register. 'Don't be lazy' is accusatory and informal. A notice is an official document; the passive 'are encouraged' keeps the tone impersonal and inclusive, and matches the formal 'is pleased to announce' opening. Mixing registers inside one short paragraph is what makes a draft sound careless.
• Medium. The sentence will be spoken aloud at assembly and printed. Contractions and slang read awkwardly aloud and look out of place on a noticeboard; the passive version is short, clear and easy to read at a distance.
• Effect. An accusation invites resistance; an invitation plus a reason to take part is more likely to get students into the library - which is the purpose of the notice.

A stronger version would add the concrete benefit: 'All students are encouraged to take part; a certificate is awarded to every participant.'

Word-for-word translation will produce text that is grammatically possible but pragmatically wrong. Three specific failures:

• 'Reading Week' is the name of an event, not a description. Translated literally it may sound like a week of continuous reading or a school subject. Names are usually either kept (with a short gloss) or re-created as a natural equivalent agreed with the Afaan Oromoo teacher.
• Institutional terms such as 'library committee' and 'the assembly' may not map neatly onto local usage; a literal rendering can suggest a different body or a different event.
• Idiom and tone. 'Don't be lazy' has no fixed equivalent, and any literal rendering risks sounding harsher or comical. Instructions about deadlines and who to inform must be unambiguous in both languages.

The better procedure: (1) edit the English draft first, in short simple sentences with no idiom, so the meaning is transparent; (2) give it to a fluent speaker, ideally with the language teacher, to render for meaning; (3) have a second speaker back-translate it into English and compare with the original to catch lost or added information; (4) post both versions at the same time and in equally visible places; (5) check the dates and the day names - a mismatch between the two versions is the most damaging error a school notice can contain.