Choosing a Model Response: Character Change in a Short Story
Mr. Okafor's fifth-grade class has just finished reading "The Blue Kite," a short story in which Maya refuses to fly her grandfather's kite after it tears on a fence, then repairs it with him on the last page. During a 20-minute discussion he poses the question: "Which sentence best shows how Maya's feelings about the kite change from the beginning to the end of the story?" Four students respond. Ayana writes, "Maya changes because at first she says the kite is ruined and hides it in the closet, but at the end she asks her grandfather to help her patch it." Devin writes, "Maya is sad because her kite tears." Lila writes, "This reminds me of when I lost my bike and got it fixed." Marcus writes, "The story is mostly about a kite and a grandfather." Mr. Okafor has one conference period left before the unit assessment and must decide which response to hold up as a model and what to do for the other three students. The standard in play asks students to describe how characters respond to challenges and to compare and contrast two characters.
1. Which student's response should Mr. Okafor use as the model, and what specifically makes each of the other three responses fall short of the standard?
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Ayana's response is the model. It does what the standard asks: it names a change and supports it with evidence from two points in the story ("hides it in the closet" at the start; "asks her grandfather to help her patch it" at the end).
- Devin gives a single-state inference. He labels Maya's feeling at one moment and never addresses change, and "the kite tears" is the event, not Maya's response to it.
- Lila gives a text-to-self connection. It shows engagement, but it contains no evidence from the story, so it cannot demonstrate the standard.
- Marcus identifies topic. "Mostly about a kite and a grandfather" is subject matter, not character.
Mr. Okafor should post Ayana's answer and ask the class to name what she did that the others did not: cite two moments and use a contrast frame ("at first... but by the end..."). Naming the move, not just praising the answer, is what transfers to the next story.
2. Write the follow-up prompt Mr. Okafor should give Devin, and explain why that prompt is better than simply telling Devin the correct answer.
Read the worked answer
Prompt: "You said Maya is sad when the kite tears. Find one sentence where Maya shows what she does right after it tears, and one sentence from the last page. Then finish this frame: At first Maya ___, but by the end she ___."
This is better than supplying the answer because Devin's error is procedural, not factual. He can locate text, but he treats one moment as the whole story. The frame forces him to sample two points and to use a contrast structure, which is exactly the move Ayana made. Telling him the answer would produce one correct sentence while leaving the strategy untouched, and he would repeat the single-moment pattern on the next story.
After Devin writes, Mr. Okafor should ask him which of his two sentences shows the change, so that Devin, not the teacher, names the evidence. If Devin can do that, the conference is done in under five minutes and the remaining time goes to Lila, whose issue is different: she needs a prompt that redirects her from connection to text, such as "Which sentence in the story made you think of your bike?"