KYC Email Draft Under Review
A branch has 2,400 savings accounts, of which 180 have incomplete KYC. The deadline for updating records is 15 March. A clerk drafts the following email to the 180 customers: 'Dear Customer, We are informing you that your account will be temporary freeze from 15 March because your KYC documents is not updated. You are requested to submit a copy of Aadhaar and PAN card at your earliest. Kindly revert back with the documents on this email only. If you are not doing the needful, your account will be blocked and you will not be able to operate same. Regards, Branch Manager.' The branch head asks you to review the draft before it is sent. The email must be formal, accurate and clear enough for customers who may read English as a second language. You must also avoid promising anything the branch cannot guarantee.
1. Identify at least five language or usage errors in the draft and correct them.
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| Draft wording | Problem | Correction |
|---|---|---|
| will be temporary freeze | adverb/adjective confusion; missing participle | will be temporarily frozen |
| documents is | subject–verb agreement | documents are |
| revert back | redundant | reply |
| at your earliest | incomplete idiom | at your earliest convenience, or by 14 March |
| doing the needful | dated and vague in formal English | taking the required action |
| operate same | missing pronoun | operate it |
| on this email only | unclear | by replying to this email |
| We are informing you that | wordy opening | We write to inform you that |
2. Explain two ambiguities or tone problems that could lead to a customer complaint even after the grammar is fixed.
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First, the draft says the account will be 'temporarily frozen' and then says it will be 'blocked'. A customer may read 'blocked' as permanent and complain that the branch changed the consequence without warning. Second, 'submit a copy of Aadhaar and PAN card' does not say whether self-attested copies are acceptable, whether originals are needed, or how to send them safely. Other risks: '15 March' has no year; 'at your earliest' gives no real deadline; 'on this email only' is unclear; and the email gives no branch contact for help. The email should not be sent unchanged.
3. Rewrite the email in 60–90 words in formal English, keeping the consequence but avoiding overpromising.
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Dear Customer,
We write to inform you that your account will be temporarily frozen from 15 March because our records show that your KYC documents are incomplete. Please submit self-attested copies of your Aadhaar and PAN card by replying to this email before 15 March. If we do not receive them, the account will remain blocked until the records are updated. For help, please contact the branch at the number below.
Regards, Branch Manager