Writing a 90-Word Recommendation for Extended Library Hours
You are a student representative writing a 90-word paragraph for the school website. The principal wants the paragraph to recommend extending library hours during the three-week exam period. Your notes say: the library currently closes at 16:00; 40% of students take two or more advanced courses; two teachers volunteered to supervise until 18:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays; the budget allows 12 extra staff hours per week; janitorial staff are available until 18:30; younger students sit exams in the morning, older students in the afternoon. The principal dislikes contractions and slang but wants a formal yet friendly register. The paragraph must include one concrete benefit and one limitation, and it must not promise anything the budget cannot support. You have drafted one sentence: “We gotta keep the library open later because kids are stressed.”
1. Which notes belong in the paragraph, and which should be left out? Explain your choices in terms of the audience and the 90-word limit.
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The paragraph should include the current closing time (16:00), the proposed extension (18:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays), the budget limit (12 extra staff hours per week), and one benefit tied to exams. It should omit the janitorial 18:30 detail because it is an operational fact that may raise unanswered questions and uses words; omit or compress the 40% advanced-courses figure unless it directly supports need. The younger/older exam-time note could justify why afternoon hours help older students, but with a 90-word limit it is optional. The limitation should be explicit: the extension is only two days a week because the budget supports 12 hours, not a full week. This prevents promising more than the budget allows.
2. Revise the draft sentence for register and precision, then explain two changes.
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Draft: “We gotta keep the library open later because kids are stressed.” Revision: “We recommend extending library hours during the exam period because students need a quiet place to study.” Two changes: “gotta” becomes “recommend,” removing slang and making the sentence a formal recommendation; “kids are stressed” becomes “students need a quiet place to study,” which is precise, avoids diagnosing emotions, and states a concrete benefit. “Keep ... open later” is also vague; “extending library hours” is more formal. The revision keeps the friendly purpose but matches the principal’s register.
3. Write a topic sentence and outline the organization of the 90-word paragraph.
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Topic sentence: “We recommend extending library hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the three-week exam period.” Organization: (1) recommendation with specific days and times; (2) concrete benefit-older students who sit afternoon exams gain a supervised study space; (3) limitation-the budget funds 12 extra staff hours per week, so the extension cannot run every day; (4) closing request-approve the two-day trial. This order puts the main point first, supports it, then states the limit before asking for approval. It avoids burying the limitation at the end, which would make the paragraph sound like an overpromise.