Incident Memo Returned Unapproved: Clarity, Precision and the Governing Standard
A junior engineer submits this draft incident memo to the plant head: 'Following to the incident at Bay 4 on 12 March, it is brought to notice that a near miss was occurred when a 6 m aluminium ladder slipped on an oil patch and falled against a live 415 V busbar chamber. Nobody was injured but the area was comprised of three contractors and one supervisor. It is requested to all concerned that ladder inspection should be done before every use and oil spills should be cleaned immediately, otherwise strict action will be taken. The incident was reported late by approximately around two hours because the shift engineer was not having the permit copy. Kindly do the needful at the earliest.' The plant head returns it unapproved, saying it is unusable both as evidence for the safety investigation and as an input to the management-system audit.
1. Rewrite the first two sentences of the memo in no more than 45 words, in the active voice and past tense, and list the grammar and usage errors you corrected.
Read the worked answer
Rewrite (43 words): 'A near miss occurred at Bay 4 on 12 March when a 6 m aluminium ladder slipped on an oil patch and struck a live 415 V busbar chamber. No one was injured. Three contractors and one supervisor were working in the area.'
Errors corrected:
- Following to the incident - the preposition is wrong; following takes a direct object (following the incident).
- it is brought to notice - convoluted and agentless; a report should say who observed what.
- a near miss was occurred - occur is intransitive and cannot be passive; it is a near miss occurred.
- falled - fall is irregular: fell (or better, struck, which is more precise about the contact with the busbar).
- the area was comprised of three contractors - comprise means consist of and is not used in the passive; and an area does not consist of people. Write three contractors and one supervisor were working in the area.
The rewrite also front-loads the event rather than the procedural formula, which is what an investigator needs in the first line.
2. Identify four phrases that destroy the memo's value as evidence, and state what each one should be replaced with.
Read the worked answer
1. 'approximately around two hours' - two hedging words for one figure, and no reference point. Replace with a timestamp: reported at 14:35, 2 h 10 min after the event. An investigator can work with 2 h 10 min; nobody can work with approximately around.
2. 'otherwise strict action will be taken' - a threat with no subject, no named consequence and no standard. Replace with the specific control and owner: ladder inspection tags to be checked by the area supervisor at each shift start, effective 14 March.
3. 'Kindly do the needful at the earliest' - no owner, no action, no date. Replace with: Area supervisor to confirm compliance to the safety officer by 16 March.
4. 'was not having the permit copy' - non-standard tense and it describes a symptom, not a cause. Replace with: the shift engineer did not hold a copy of the permit-to-work, so the report was delayed pending verification.
Root problem. Every one of these phrases removes either the number, the person or the date. The plant head's objection is correct: a management-system audit samples incident reports to test whether corrective action was effective, and a report with no measurable action and no date cannot pass that test, whatever its intent.
3. The plant manager asks which standard to certify the site's occupational health and safety management system against, which Indian body publishes the IS codes cited in the report, and which IS code covers electrical wiring installations. Answer, and explain why the precision of this memo matters under that standard.
Read the worked answer
Standard: ISO 45001:2018 is the occupational health and safety management system standard; it superseded OHSAS 18001. Do not confuse it with ISO 9001 (quality) or ISO 14001 (environment) - a common error when a single integrated manual is written.
Publisher of IS codes: the Bureau of Indian Standards (BIS) is the national standards body of India and publishes the IS series.
Electrical wiring installations: IS 732, Code of practice for electrical wiring installations.
Why this memo matters under ISO 45001: the standard requires that incidents and near misses be recorded, investigated and used to drive corrective action - clause 10.2 covers incident, nonconformity and corrective action, supported by the hazard-identification and legal-compliance requirements in clauses 6.1 and 9.1.2. The audit test is not 'was a memo written' but 'can the organisation demonstrate that the action was defined, owned, dated and verified as effective'. A memo saying strict action will be taken and do the needful at the earliest fails that test on its face, which is exactly why the plant head was right to return it rather than file it.