Peer-Reviewing a Literature Topic Sentence
A mock HSC literature paper prints this four-line extract from a prescribed poem: 'The lane divides; I take the one / that dips beneath the mango shade, / and leave the other in the sun / to wait, as if it might be stayed.' The question is: 'How does the poet present the speaker's choice?' The marking scheme awards 2 marks for close reference, 2 for explaining effect, and 1 for linking to theme. Four students offer topic sentences. A: 'The poet shows that the speaker chooses the shady lane.' B: 'By contrasting the shaded lane with the sunlit one and personifying the second as something that might be stayed, the poet makes the choice feel like a small betrayal of a possibility.' C: 'The speaker is confused about which lane to take.' D: 'The poem is about the importance of making decisions.' You are the peer reviewer. You have the marking scheme in front of you and must rank B first, then justify the ranking of the others.
1. Explain why B earns the highest mark and why A and C, though factually true, earn little.
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B earns the highest mark because it does all three things the scheme rewards.
- Close reference: it points to the contrast between 'shade' and 'sun' and quotes the phrase 'might be stayed'.
- Effect: it explains that personifying the unchosen lane makes the choice feel like 'a small betrayal of a possibility'.
- Theme: it links the choice to loss and irreversibility, not just to the act of choosing.
A is accurate but only paraphrases the content: 'chooses the shady lane'. It offers no quotation, no effect, and no theme.
C is also weak. The speaker is not shown as confused; the verbs 'take' and 'leave' are decisive. C invents a mental state and gives no textual evidence. In a literature answer, a true-sounding statement without reference earns little.
2. D says the poem is about 'the importance of making decisions'. Is this a valid theme statement? Rewrite it so it earns the theme mark without replacing textual evidence.
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It is too broad to be useful. 'The importance of making decisions' could describe almost any poem about a choice. It does not say what this poem says about choice, and it gives no textual anchor.
A stronger theme statement: 'The poem explores how choosing one path means leaving another permanently, even as the speaker imagines that other path waiting.'
This is still a theme statement, but it is tied to the poem's specific words ('leave', 'wait', 'might be stayed') and to its specific idea: the cost of the unchosen option. It can now be supported by evidence rather than merely asserted.
3. A student claims the 'sun' symbolizes truth and the 'shade' symbolizes ignorance. Using the marking scheme, decide whether to reward this.
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Do not reward it automatically. The marking scheme rewards close reference and explained effect. The poem gives no explicit code saying sun = truth or shade = ignorance. That reading is imported from outside the text.
A symbol reading can be rewarded only if the student anchors it in the words and explains the effect, for example: 'The sunlit lane is left exposed and unused, while the shaded lane is chosen; the contrast makes the unchosen path seem open but untested.' Even then, the student must show what in the wording limits the interpretation.
A useful test: ask, 'Which word in the poem would contradict my symbol?' If no word can, the claim is probably speculation rather than analysis.