Revising an unsupported claim in an essay
A student writes an essay about participation in a Kannada reading event. The supplied records show that two friends did not attend, while several other classmates did attend and others were not asked. The draft nevertheless claims that every student dislikes Kannada reading. It then describes a higher number of prizes in the same month and asserts that a new poster alone caused the increase. The revision task concerns the scope of the evidence and the causal claim, as well as paragraph organization. No outside statistics or official marking formula is supplied. A strong answer should narrow what can be inferred, distinguish coincidence from a demonstrated explanation and show how relevant examples can support a focused paragraph.
1. How should the participation claim change?
Read the worked answer
State only that the two identified friends did not attend, or describe the actual mixed attendance evidence. It cannot support a claim about every student’s attitude.
2. Why is the prize claim insufficient?
Read the worked answer
The poster and prizes occurring in the same month do not alone establish causation. Consider other evidence and explanations rather than turn sequence or coincidence into proof.