Six Months of 'Just Tired'
Riya, 19, is in her second year of +2 at a hostel in Cuttack. For about six months she has slept only three to four hours, waking at 3 a.m., and has lost 7 kg because she skips meals in the mess. She stopped attending classes three weeks ago and has stopped talking to her roommate. She no longer dances, though she was the college's best Odissi dancer, and says she feels 'nothing'. Last week she told her roommate, 'Everyone would be happier if I weren't here', and gave away her favourite books. The roommate noticed a cut on her wrist; Riya said she used a compass 'to feel something'. Riya refuses to see the counsellor, saying, 'I'm just tired, there's nothing wrong.' Her parents, contacted by the warden, say it is exam stress and ask the college not to 'make a scene'. There is no known substance use.
1. Which features of Riya's presentation are warning signs that go beyond ordinary exam stress, and what can a teacher or warden conclude-and not conclude-from them?
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Warning signs: six months' duration; sleep of three to four hours with early waking; 7 kg weight loss and skipped meals; anhedonia-no longer dancing, feeling 'nothing'; withdrawal from friends and classes; hopelessness; a statement about others being better off without her; giving away treasured books; self-harm. Together these indicate substantial functional impairment and possible risk, not ordinary exam stress.
What a teacher or warden can conclude: this needs urgent professional assessment, and safety must be addressed now. What they cannot conclude: a diagnosis of depression, a judgement that she is 'attention-seeking', or a decision that she should simply be sent home. Diagnosis requires a qualified clinician, and medical causes of weight loss and insomnia must be ruled out. Exam stress can coexist with a disorder without explaining it.
Caution: do not promise secrecy, do not wait for her to ask for help, and do not broadcast details. The role is to notice, listen, keep her safe and connect her to care.
2. What should the roommate and the warden do in the next 24 hours, and what should they avoid? Include how to ask about suicide and how to handle Riya's request for secrecy.
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Next 24 hours: the roommate should stay with Riya and speak privately: 'I've noticed you've been sleeping badly and giving things away. Are you thinking of ending your life?' Asking directly does not plant the idea; it gives permission to speak. Listen without arguing, and do not promise to keep it secret-safety overrides secrecy, and this limit should be stated kindly in advance.
Warden: contact the counsellor and a mental health professional the same day; inform the parents factually and without blame; if there is immediate risk, do not leave her alone and arrange urgent evaluation at the district hospital or call 108; Tele-MANAS 14416 is a 24×7 helpline. Remove the compass and other means from her room.
Avoid: 'Just be positive', 'Everyone has exam stress', group counselling in front of peers, graphic questioning, and public disclosure. Do: record what was observed and done, name one person responsible for follow-up, and check in daily. The goal is not to force a confession but to make help safe and unavoidable.
3. The parents say 'don't make a scene'. Explain the likely consequences of staying silent and of a public label, and design a support plan that balances dignity, privacy and safety.
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If the college stays silent: the likely path is delayed treatment, worsening risk, possible dropout, and a crisis that everyone later says they saw coming. Silence protects the institution's comfort, not the student.
If the college labels publicly: shame, peer gossip, discrimination from teachers, and withdrawal from the very support she needs. A label is not a diagnosis, and a diagnosis is confidential health information.
Support plan: a need-to-know circle (warden, counsellor, one nominated teacher, parents); a private meeting where the limits of confidentiality are explained; academic flexibility-medical leave or assignment extension without public explanation; a named daily check-in; treatment as advised by the clinician; family sessions explaining that this is an illness, not weakness; review after two weeks and a re-entry plan. Keep language neutral: 'Riya is unwell and receiving treatment.' Recovery is common with timely care, and the college's task is to keep the door open, not to make an example.