Editing a Placement Brochure Paragraph Before It Goes to Print
The polytechnic's placement brochure carries a note drafted by a first-year student:
"Our institute believe that skill training is more important than degrees alone. Many recruiter visiting the campus last year was impressed by the workshop practice of our students, and they told that hands-on training have helped them. Therefore, students which join diploma courses should not feel inferior. Inspite of the rise in automation, the demand of skilled technicians have grown, and our alumni is working in leading firms."
The faculty editor must separate compulsory corrections from stylistic choices, and must test the draft's last claim against the cell's data: 78 of 210 final-year students received at least one offer in 2024, against 65 offers in 2023, while the number of recruiting companies rose from 19 to 26. She also needs a headline of at most six words that does not overstate the evidence.
1. List the compulsory corrections in the passage and state the rule behind each. Which items are stylistic rather than compulsory?
Read the worked answer
Compulsory (grammar, agreement, usage, orthography):
- "Our institute believe" → believes: singular subject takes a singular verb.
- "Many recruiter … was impressed" → Many recruiters … were impressed: many takes a plural countable noun and a plural verb.
- "they told that" → they said that: tell requires a person as object (told us that); say does not.
- "hands-on training have helped" → has helped: training is an uncountable singular noun.
- "students which join" → students who join: who for people, which for things.
- "Inspite of" → In spite of: a fixed two-word prepositional phrase; the one-word form does not exist in standard written English.
- "the demand of skilled technicians have grown" → the demand for skilled technicians has grown: demand for a commodity, and the subject demand is singular.
- "our alumni is working" → our alumni are working: alumni is the plural of alumnus.
Stylistic, not compulsory: "more important than degrees alone" (a defensible opinion), the opening "Our institute believes" (fine for a brochure), and "should not feel inferior" (emotional but grammatical). The editor may soften the last one, but she cannot call it an error.
2. Is the sentence about growing demand for skilled technicians supported by the cell's data? Rewrite it so that it is accurate and does not overstate.
Read the worked answer
Only partly, and not in the form written.
The 2024 rate is computable: 78 / 210 = 37.1 % of final-year students received at least one offer. For 2023 we are given 65 offers but not the batch size, so no 2023 rate can be calculated. If the 2023 batch was 180, the rate was 36.1 % (a marginal rise); if it was 160, the rate was 40.6 % - a fall, despite 13 more offers. The rise in offers could be nothing more than a larger graduating batch.
What the data do support: recruiting companies rose from 19 to 26, about +37 %, which is genuine evidence of employer interest, and absolute offers rose from 65 to 78. "Demand has grown" is an inference from the company count, not from the offer count.
Rewrite: "The number of companies recruiting on our campus rose from 19 to 26 in 2024, and offers rose from 65 to 78; 78 of our 210 final-year students (37 %) received at least one offer." No comparative rate is claimed, because the 2023 denominator is unknown.
3. Propose a headline of at most six words that the data can defend, and justify every word choice.
Read the worked answer
"Recruiters Rise; 37 % Get Offers" (six words).
Why each part is defensible:
- Recruiters rise - 19 → 26 is a measured fact, and "rise" is neutral, not "surge" or "soar".
- 37 % - 78/210 is the one rate that can actually be computed; it is stated for 2024 only.
- Get Offers - "at least one offer" is what the cell recorded; it does not claim placement, joining or a package.
- Semicolon - keeps the two facts separate instead of implying that more recruiters caused the 37 %.
Words deliberately avoided: "demand" (an inference), "record" and "best ever" (no 2023 denominator to compare), "placed" (an offer is not a placement), and "skilled technicians in demand" (unsupported by the figures). A headline is a claim like any other; the test is whether a reader who saw only the headline and then the data would feel misled. Here they would not.