Exchange-Week Advice: La Bise, Le Vouvoiement, La Laïcité
A II PUC student has been selected for a two-week exchange with a lycée in Lyon. Before departure, the coordinator gives a briefing with these notes: (1) friends often greet each other with la bise, but the number of kisses varies by region; (2) students address teachers with vous and Madame/Monsieur; (3) the school is laïc, so conspicuous religious symbols are banned; (4) the canteen publishes a menu and sometimes serves pork; (5) teachers may discuss religion in class but cannot promote it.
The student comes from a school in Karnataka where greeting teachers with 'Good morning, sir' and wearing a religious pendant are normal. The student must write a short note to a younger cousin explaining what to do in three concrete situations: meeting the French teacher, meeting a French classmate, and choosing lunch. The note must be accurate and avoid stereotypes.
1. For each of the three situations, give the appropriate behaviour and justify it with a French cultural principle from the notes. Where the notes are insufficient, say what the student should observe or ask rather than guess.
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1. Meeting the French teacher. Say «Bonjour Madame» or «Bonjour Monsieur», use vous, and do not use the teacher's first name. Do not offer la bise. This follows the school's hierarchical and formal convention, not coldness. A handshake may be offered if the teacher extends one.
2. Meeting a French classmate. «Salut» plus the first name is normal. La bise is common among friends, but the number of kisses varies by region and family, and some people prefer not to. The safe strategy is to follow the classmate's lead; a smile and a verbal greeting are never rude. The notes do not specify the local custom, so the student should observe rather than assume.
3. Choosing lunch. Read the posted menu. If pork is served and the student does not eat it, choose another option or politely ask «Est-ce qu'il y a une autre option, s'il vous plaît ?» Do not announce a religious rule as a demand; frame it as a personal dietary choice. The canteen is a public-school setting, so staff are expected to accommodate but not to organise meals around one faith.
The principle across all three is observe, ask, and adapt rather than importing one's home norms or assuming that French informality means disrespect.
2. The cousin says: 'Laïcité means France has no religion and students cannot talk about religion.' Correct this misconception with two precise points.
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Point 1 - Laïcité is state neutrality, not atheism. The French state does not endorse a religion, and public institutions must treat all citizens equally. It guarantees freedom of conscience, including the right to believe or not believe. It does not forbid religion in private life, and it does not declare religion false.
Point 2 - Pupils may learn about religion; the school does not promote it. The notes say teachers may discuss religion but cannot promote it. What is restricted in public schools is conspicuous religious display - for example, a large cross, a veil, a kippa, or a turban worn as a religious symbol - not all discussion or all discreet personal belief. The aim is to protect neutrality and equal treatment, not to silence students.
A precise answer therefore distinguishes the state, the school, and the individual pupil. Saying 'France has no religion' confuses laïcité with enforced atheism, which is a common stereotype and a mark-losing simplification.
3. A relative advises: 'To be safe, refuse la bise and keep your distance from everyone.' Evaluate this advice in light of the notes and the goals of an exchange.
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The advice overcorrects. It treats one uncertain custom as a danger and ignores the distinction the notes make.
- La bise is normal among friends, not with teachers. The relative's rule would be appropriate for the teacher but unnecessarily cold with classmates.
- Refusing all physical contact can communicate rejection. A verbal greeting, a smile, or a handshake is an acceptable alternative when a student is uncomfortable, but it should be explained lightly rather than imposed as a blanket policy.
- The goals of an exchange include observation and adaptation. The student should watch what others do, ask a trusted classmate, and accept that customs vary by region and family.
The balanced response is: formal distance with teachers; friendly flexibility with peers; personal boundaries respected without treating an entire culture as risky. That is more accurate than either uncritical imitation or defensive isolation.