A Trait Is Not a Motive
In a 4-mark prose answer, the question is: 'Why does the character return the borrowed tool after denying he had it?' The mark scheme awards 1 mark for a plausible motive, 2 for linking the motive to two details from the extract, and 1 for commenting on the writer's choice of detail. The extract gives three details: the character's hands shake as he sets the tool at the gate; he chooses dawn, when the neighbour is still asleep; and he leaves no note. A student writes: 'He returns it because he is honest. Honesty makes people do the right thing. So he returned it.' The answer is 19 words. The teacher has 30 seconds per script and must decide the mark and the single most useful feedback line. The class has been told that 'honest' is a trait, not a motive.
1. Decide the mark and justify it against the scheme. Then rewrite the student's answer as a full-mark response in about 60 words.
Read the worked answer
Mark: 1/4. The answer names a trait ('honest') and offers a general comment, but it gives no extract detail and no link between detail and motive; the scheme's 2 evidence marks and 1 writer's-choice mark are untouched. A full-mark response: 'He returns the tool because shame and fear of exposure outweigh his earlier denial. His shaking hands show guilt; choosing dawn shows he wants to avoid being seen; leaving no note suggests he cannot yet face the neighbour. The writer uses these details to make the return an act of conscience rather than simple honesty.' This earns the motive, two details with explanation, and a comment on the writer's choice.
2. Why is 'honest' a weak motive here, and what would you say to the student in one sentence?
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'Honest' is weak because it is a fixed trait, not a reason for a specific action, and it clashes with the earlier denial. A student who says 'he is honest' has not explained why an honest person would lie first and then return the tool secretly. The answer also ignores the three details that the mark scheme rewards: the shaking hands, the chosen hour, and the missing note. One-sentence feedback: 'Replace the trait with the pressure that changes his behaviour, then prove it with his hands, the time, and the missing note.'