The Report With a Hidden First Person
During a college magazine meeting, the teacher reviews a 140-word report submitted for the 'Annual Sports Day' page. The report has a headline, a byline, and a date, and it reports the march-past, three track finals, and the principal's address. However, it also says, 'I felt proud when our team won the relay' and 'we should have practised more'. It claims 'over 2,000 spectators attended', but the gate register shows about 600. The rubric for the report item is 2 marks for format, 2 for content, 2 for language. The student's language is clear and mostly impersonal except for the two sentences. The teacher must decide whether to publish it and what score to give for the exam-style task. The magazine deadline is tomorrow, and the student is willing to revise.
1. Score the report against the rubric and justify each mark.
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Award 3/6: format 1, content 1, language 1. Format has a headline, byline, and date, which earns credit, but the first-person sentences break the report convention, so not 2. Content is partly accurate-the march-past, three finals, and principal's address are relevant-but 'over 2,000 spectators' is contradicted by the gate register (about 600), and 'we should have practised more' is opinion, not reportable fact. That is 1, not 0, because the bulk of the report is relevant. Language is clear, but the register is inconsistent: 'I felt proud' and 'we should have' are inappropriate in a report. Award 1 and explain that clarity alone does not satisfy the genre. The total is 3/6, not 4/6; fluency should not hide the genre and accuracy problems.
2. What revisions should be required before publication, and why?
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Before publication: remove 'I felt proud' and 'we should have practised more'; replace them with observable detail, e.g. 'The relay team finished third after a close final leg.' Verify the attendance figure with the gate register or the sports secretary. If 600 is the reliable figure, write 'about 600 spectators' and attribute the estimate; if no reliable figure exists, omit the number rather than invent one. Add a dateline or place line if the magazine style requires it. These revisions are not cosmetic: a report's authority depends on third-person detachment and verifiable fact. The student should keep the headline and byline, which are already functional.
3. How should the teacher handle the factual discrepancy between the report and the gate register?
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Treat the discrepancy as a teaching moment about verification, not just a penalty. Ask the student where the 2,000 figure came from; if it was an estimate, show how to mark it as such ('an estimated 600'). Contact the sports secretary or office to confirm. If the figure cannot be confirmed before the deadline, publish without it. In the exam-style task, the mark already reflects the inaccuracy; the magazine decision is separate. The teacher should not publish a corrected number without a source, because replacing one unverified figure with another teaches the wrong lesson.