A Letter to the Editor That Fits the Word Limit
A writing-skills task asks for a letter to the editor in 120-150 words about the poor condition of the road outside a school. The letter must include two specific problems and one suggestion. The student has 20 minutes and a draft of 210 words. The draft opens, 'I am writing to express my extreme anger and frustration,' and lists three problems: potholes, a missing footpath and broken streetlights. It also tells a 40-word story about a bicycle accident and ends with a vague suggestion: 'the government should do something.' The student wants to keep the accident story because it is emotional. The marking scheme awards 2 marks for format, 2 for content and 2 for expression. The school gate opens onto a main road.
1. What should the student cut first, and why? Use the marking scheme to justify your decision.
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Cut the 40-word accident story first. The task asks for two problems and one suggestion, not a narrative; the story uses about a fifth of the word limit and earns no separate content mark. It also risks tilting expression toward emotion ('extreme anger') rather than formal argument, and the marking scheme rewards format, content and expression equally. Second, cut one of the three problems: keep potholes and the missing footpath because they are specific and can be linked to a concrete suggestion; the streetlights can go. Replace 'the government should do something' with a specific, feasible action. Keep the salutation, subject line and closing because format is 2 marks. The student should not cut all feeling, but should convert it into a controlled tone.
2. Revise the opening and the suggestion to fit a 120-150 word letter. Show the word count of your revised sentences and explain what you changed.
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Revised opening: 'I write to draw the attention of the authorities to the condition of the road outside Sunrise School.' (18 words) Revised suggestion: 'I request the municipal corporation to resurface the 200-metre stretch and restore the footpath before the monsoon.' (18 words) The original opening spends 12 words on 'extreme anger and frustration' without adding a fact; the revision names the purpose and location. The original suggestion is unfalsifiable; the revision names an authority, an action, a measured stretch and a deadline. This converts emotion into a specific request, which is what the content mark rewards. The student can add one sentence of consequence, such as 'Students currently walk on the road because the footpath is missing,' to reach the lower word limit.