The Too-Polite Complaint
A candidate must write a 120–150 word email to a property manager. The instructions require three points: report that the heating has failed since 3 February, request a repair before 10 February, and ask whether a temporary heater can be supplied. The candidate writes 95 words: 'Dear Sir/Madam, I am so sorry to bother you. I know you are very busy. The heater is not working. It is very cold. Could you maybe possibly fix it? I am sorry again. Thank you.' The email omits both dates and the temporary-heater question. The candidate believes that shorter and more apologetic is safer because a direct complaint might seem rude. They have 12 minutes left and are about to submit. The marking criteria include task fulfilment and register.
1. What is the main weakness of the email, and how should the candidate revise it within the word limit?
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The main weakness is not rudeness but incomplete task fulfilment wrapped in excessive apology. The email omits the start date, the repair deadline, and the temporary-heater question. It also uses 'maybe possibly', which makes the request vague, and repeats apologies that weaken the writer's position.
A revision should keep one polite opening and one clear request structure:
- State the problem and date: 'The heating in my flat has not worked since 3 February.'
- State the requested action and deadline: 'Could you arrange a repair before 10 February?'
- Ask the third question: 'Could you also confirm whether a temporary heater can be supplied?'
- Add only necessary access details and a brief closing.
This fills the required points and reaches 120–150 words without inflating the message. Politeness in a complaint comes from clarity and reasonable tone, not from repeated apologies. The candidate should not submit the 95-word version.
2. How should the candidate balance politeness and directness for a property manager? Give a principle and one example rewrite.
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Principle: politeness should make the request easy to act on, not obscure it. Use a polite frame - 'Could you...' / 'I would be grateful if...' - around specific facts and a clear deadline. Avoid stacking hedges ('maybe possibly'), because they make the request sound optional and shift the burden back to the reader.
Example rewrite: 'Dear Ms Patel, I am writing to report that the heating in Flat 4 has not worked since 3 February. The flat is very cold, and I would be grateful if you could arrange a repair before 10 February. Could you also let me know whether a temporary heater can be supplied while the repair is arranged? Thank you for your help.'
This is direct about the problem and the date, but not aggressive. It keeps one thank-you and one request frame. The candidate should apply the same test to every sentence: does it help the manager understand the problem and act, or does it mainly manage the writer's discomfort?