Moderating Two Answers to an Unseen Prose Extract
Two students answer the same 6-mark question on a fictional prose extract. Extract: 'The bus was late by forty minutes. Harpreet read the same notice three times without taking in a word. When the bus finally came, she let two older women board first, then chose the seat nearest the door. At the hospital stop she remained seated, her bag on her lap, until the conductor called her stop twice.' Question: 'What does the extract suggest about Harpreet's state of mind?' Answer A: 'She is anxious and distracted; she rereads the notice without absorbing it and delays getting off.' Answer B: 'She is rude and selfish; she ignores the conductor and refuses to move.' The marking guide rewards inference supported by two details, not moral judgement. Candidate A uses two details; Candidate B uses one misread detail and a label.
1. Which answer deserves the higher mark, and why?
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Answer A deserves the higher mark. It makes a modest inference, 'anxious and distracted', and supports it with two details: she reads the notice 'three times without taking in a word', which shows distraction, and she remains seated until her stop is called twice, which shows delay. Answer B uses a moral label, 'rude and selfish', that the extract does not support. Letting older women board first actually suggests consideration, not selfishness. B also misreads 'remained seated' as refusal; the extract says she waits until the conductor calls her stop twice, which can suggest absorption or hesitation.
2. Revise Answer B into a response that could earn about 4 marks.
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A 4-mark revision would drop the insult and use two details: 'Harpreet seems preoccupied. She reads the same notice three times without taking it in, and she stays in her seat until the conductor calls her stop twice, which suggests she is not alert to her surroundings.' This keeps the inference limited and ties it to evidence. It does not claim that she is rude, because the earlier detail that she lets two older women board first works against that reading. The revision should show that the same facts can support a weaker but defensible inference.
3. What would lower Answer A from full marks?
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Answer A would lose marks if it stopped at the label 'anxious' without linking it to evidence, or if it used only one detail. It would also weaken if it added an unsupported cause, such as 'because she was late for a job interview'. The extract gives no reason for her distraction. Full marks require a clear inference plus two relevant details, and the details must be interpreted rather than merely quoted. A strong answer might also note that 'bag on her lap' suggests guardedness, but it should not turn that into a diagnosis.