The Water Audit Letter: Choosing Tone and Defensible Claims
The student council of a co-educational senior secondary school has completed a water audit. The school has 1,200 students and 14 outdoor taps. A bucket test over one week showed that 6 taps were leaking and that the leaks wasted about 3,400 litres, roughly the daily drinking-water need of 170 students. The council wants to send a letter to the editor of the local daily (120–150 words). Its aims are: report the finding, ask the school to repair the taps, and suggest that students form a weekly monitoring group. The teacher has rejected three draft openings:
A. 'Sir, your newspaper has finally noticed what every student sees daily.' B. 'Sir, may I use your columns to report a small but measurable waste of water in our school?' C. 'Sir, this letter will shock you: our school is practically a desert.'
The council must also decide whether to include the sentence: 'If nothing is done immediately, the school will run dry by next month.'
1. Which draft opening (A, B or C) should the council use? Justify your choice by referring to audience, purpose and tone, and explain why the other two are weaker.
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B is the best choice. It addresses the editor respectfully ('may I use your columns'), names the subject precisely ('a small but measurable waste of water') and keeps the tone formal without flattering or accusing. The purpose is to report a finding and request action, so a measured opening prepares the reader for data. A fails because it begins with a complaint against the newspaper ('has finally noticed'), which irritates the very audience whose help is needed. C fails through exaggeration ('will shock you', 'practically a desert'), which invites disbelief and is unsupported by the audit. A useful test is to ask what each opening promises: B promises a specific, verifiable report; A promises a quarrel; C promises drama. For a 120–150 word letter, B also saves space for the data and the request.
2. Should the sentence 'If nothing is done immediately, the school will run dry by next month' be included? Decide, and revise it if necessary.
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It should not be included as written. The audit gives one week's loss - about 3,400 litres - and compares it with the daily drinking-water need of 170 students; it does not provide a forecast of the school running dry. The word 'immediately' and the deadline 'by next month' turn a measured finding into a prediction the council cannot defend. A safer version keeps the urgency but limits the claim: 'At this rate, the leaks will waste several thousand litres each week until the taps are repaired.' This sentence is still a call to action, but it is tied to the measured rate and does not invent a date. In an examination answer, the reasoning should mention both accuracy and credibility, not just politeness.
3. Write a one-sentence closing that asks for action without overpromising, and explain how it suits a formal letter to an editor.
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A suitable closing is: 'We would be grateful if the school authorities could repair the six leaking taps and allow the student council to monitor them each week.' It suits the formal letter because it uses a conventional polite formula ('We would be grateful'), names the specific action (repair six taps), and adds a feasible follow-up (weekly monitoring) rather than demanding a result the council cannot guarantee. It also echoes the council's three aims from the audit: report, request repair, propose monitoring. The sentence avoids 'must' and 'immediately', which would sound like an ultimatum to an editor who is not the decision-maker. A closing that promises 'this will solve the water crisis' would overstate the evidence; this one asks only for the steps the council can reasonably request.