A notice that is under the word limit and still wrong
Sohini, Class X, is asked to draft a notice for the school notice board. The instructions on the question paper are: not more than 100 words; write within a box; give the date of issue; it is to be signed by the Headmistress; only students of Classes IX and X may take part. Her draft is 81 words, well under the limit:
NOTICE Quiz Competition I am very happy to inform all students that our school, which was established in 1952 and has produced many famous doctors and engineers, is going to organise an inter-house quiz competition on 14 August at 11 a.m. in the school hall. Interested students should give their names to their class teachers by 10 August. Please do not be late on the day of the competition, otherwise you will not be allowed to enter. - Sohini Das, Class X
A classmate tells her the draft is fine because it is well under 100 words.
1. Is the classmate right? Identify the faults you would correct first and rank them by how much each costs Sohini.
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The classmate is wrong: the word limit is a ceiling, not a standard. Four faults, in order of cost:
1. Wrong audience. She writes “all students” and never restricts the competition to Classes IX and X. This is a factual error about the event, and no examiner can award the content marks for a notice that invites the wrong people. It also cannot be fixed by trimming; the information has to be added.
2. No date of issue. A notice is dated so readers know when it was posted and can judge whether the deadline has passed. Its absence is a format fault named directly in the instructions, so it is expensive.
3. Wrong issuer and wrong person. The instructions say the notice is signed by the Headmistress, and Sohini has signed it herself. Worse, “I am very happy to inform” makes the notice a letter: a notice speaks for an institution, impersonally, usually in the third person (“The school will organise…”).
4. Wasted words and wrong tone. The 1952 sentence and the famous alumni are irrelevant padding, and “otherwise you will not be allowed to enter” is a threat - not the register of an official school notice. These cost least individually, but trimming them is what pays for the missing eligibility sentence and the date.
2. Rewrite the notice in about 50 words, keeping every required element.
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NOTICE Inter-House Quiz Competition The school will hold an inter-house quiz competition on 14 August at 11 a.m. in the school hall. Only students of Classes IX and X may take part. Names should reach class teachers by 10 August. Sd/- Headmistress 3 August 20XX
Why this version works, point by point: the heading is the single word NOTICE, then a title that says what the event is. The first sentence carries the four facts an examiner looks for - what, when, where, who may take part. The second sentence carries the eligibility restriction that Sohini omitted. The third carries the deadline and the channel for entries, in the passive (“should reach”) so that no individual is addressed. The signature and designation sit at the bottom left, and the date of issue is present, which Sohini's draft lacked entirely.
What was cut and why: the founding year and the alumni sentence go because they do not help a reader decide whether to enter; “I am very happy to inform” goes because it is letter language; the threat goes because a notice states requirements rather than warns. Forty-odd words saved paid for the two missing items. Remind Sohini that in a notice every word should answer one of four questions: what, when, where, who.
3. Sohini asks whether she may keep “Please do not be late” if she deletes the threat. Answer with a rule for register in a notice, and give one alternative sentence.
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She may keep the courtesy, but not in that shape, and the rule is worth stating plainly: a notice informs and instructs; it does not request, thank, apologise or threaten. “Please” is not a fatal error - a school notice may soften an instruction, and many examiners will let it pass - but it drifts towards conversation, and this paper rewards impersonality. The threat is the real problem: “otherwise you will not be allowed to enter” turns an announcement into a warning and shifts the notice from institutional voice to a teacher's voice.
Better: state the requirement as a fact that carries its own consequence. Participants should report by 10.45 a.m. - no “please”, no threat, and shorter than what she wrote. If she wants the consequence visible, Entry will close at 10.45 a.m. does the work by itself, because a reader understands what a closed entry means.
The general test to give her: read the sentence and ask who is speaking. If the answer is “a person being nice or cross”, rewrite it. If the answer is “the school”, it belongs in a notice. The same test cleans up the other common fault - “I request all students to assemble” becomes “Students are requested to assemble”. Note the passive: it moves the attention from the writer to the reader, which is what a notice is for.