Sorting out 二重敬語 and in-group/out-group reference in a business email
李さん works in the 営業部 of 株式会社サクラ. She must reply today to 株式会社ミナミ's 田中様 about tomorrow's meeting, and she must also report the same information to her own 部長, 佐藤. Her draft reads: 「田中様 お世話になっております。サクラの李です。昨日おっしゃられました15時で、佐藤部長がお待ちしております。当日は佐藤がそちらへ参ります。資料は事前にご覧になられましたら幸いです。ご不明な点は佐藤部長までご連絡ください。」 Her 先輩 says only 「敬語が二重になっているところがあるよ」. 李さん cannot tell which phrases are actually wrong, which are merely heavy but acceptable, and which are fine.
1. Identify the phrases that are genuinely wrong in the email to the client, rewrite them, and say which remaining phrases are fine despite sounding heavy.
Read the worked answer
- Wrong (二重敬語): 「おっしゃられました」 → 「おっしゃいました」. おっしゃる is already the 尊敬語 of 言う; adding られる stacks a second honorific.
- Wrong (二重敬語): 「ご覧になられましたら」 → 「ご覧になりましたら」 or, softer for a request, 「ご覧いただけましたら幸いです」. ご覧になる is already 尊敬語.
- Fine: 「お待ちしております」 (謙譲 for our side; it honours 田中様 indirectly by describing our waiting), 「参ります」 (謙譲 of 行く/来る for 佐藤, correct because 佐藤 is our side), 「ご連絡ください」 (尊敬). Heavy is not the same as wrong - do not "fix" these.
- Separate issue the 先輩 did not mention: writing 「佐藤部長」 to an outsider. Practice varies by company; the safe form is 「営業部長の佐藤」, dropping the 様-style treatment of an in-group member. This is a judgement call, not a 二重敬語 error.
2. Reporting to her own 部長 佐藤, how should 李さん refer to what 田中様 said? Compare 「田中様が15時からでよいと申しておりました」 with 「田中様が15時からでよいとおっしゃっていました」.
Read the worked answer
- Correct: 「田中様が15時からでよいとおっしゃっていました」. The rule is not "be humble to your boss"; it is "respect the person you are talking about". 田中様 is a customer, so his action takes 尊敬語 (おっしゃる) even inside the company.
- Wrong: 「申しておりました」. 申す is 謙譲語 for our own side's speech. Applied to a customer it lowers him in front of her own 部長 - the opposite of what the company needs.
- Practical shortcut the exam rewards: before choosing an honorific, label the person - 客・目上 → 尊敬語; 自社・自分 → 謙譲語. The listener does not change the label; only the person spoken about does.
- Same logic for the rest of the internal message: 「佐藤部長には私からお伝えいたします」 (our side, 謙譲) not 「お伝えになられます」.
3. For the closing line of the client email, choose between 「承知いたしました」「了解しました」「かしこまりました」 and explain the difference in risk.
Read the worked answer
- 「了解しました」 - normal between colleagues, but to a customer it reads as taking the information rather than acknowledging the customer's position. Avoid in 社外 email.
- 「かしこまりました」 - polite and correct, but strongly service-flavoured (店員→客). It can sound over-familiar or role-inappropriate in a B2B email from a 担当.
- 「承知いたしました」 - the safest default in business writing: 謙譲 of 承知する, acknowledges receipt and acceptance without the service tone.
- Judgement, not vocabulary: all three "mean" understood. The choice is about who is speaking to whom and in what register - and the biggest risk in this email is not the closing word but promising 15時 before the 部長 and 田中様 have both confirmed it. A closing that also states the next step (「本日中のご返信をいただき、明日の15時で確定とさせていただきます」) removes that risk.