英作文：25語で条件を満たす返信
Yuki is a third-year student at a junior high school in Fukuoka. The assignment says:
"Your Canadian friend Alex sent you an email: 'How was your school festival? Did you do anything special?' Write a reply in English. Conditions: (1) write about one thing you did at the festival; (2) give a reason, using the word because; (3) ask Alex one question; (4) 25 words or fewer - the greeting and your name are not counted."
Yuki's first draft:
"Thank you for your email. We had our school festival last week. It was very very fun and a lot of people came to our classroom and we sold a lot of yakisoba and everyone was happy and it was the best festival in my life. See you."
She has 25 minutes left and has not counted her words.
1. Which conditions does the draft fail? Name each failure and quote the part of the draft that causes it.
Read the worked answer
- Condition (4) fails badly: the draft is 48 words, nearly double the 25-word limit. Note that "Thank you for your email" and "See you" are greeting and closing, so they sit outside the count - they are not the cause of the overflow. The middle is: it runs to about 40 words on its own.
- Condition (3) fails: there is no question anywhere. "See you" is a closing, not a question, and Alex has nothing to answer.
- Condition (2) fails: there is no "because", and "everyone was happy" is a result, not a reason. Four "and"s link events but never explain any of them.
- Condition (1) is technically met but weak: it lists three or four activities (people came, yakisoba, everyone happy) instead of choosing one thing, so the reader cannot tell what the message is about.
The failures are connected: trying to keep every event is exactly what pushes the word count over and leaves no room for a reason or a question.
2. Rewrite the reply in 25 words or fewer, satisfying all four conditions, and prove the count.
Read the worked answer
Model answer:
"We sold yakisoba at our school festival. I was happy because many people came. Did you have a festival, too?"
Count: We(1) sold(2) yakisoba(3) at(4) our(5) school(6) festival(7). I(8) was(9) happy(10) because(11) many(12) people(13) came(14). Did(15) you(16) have(17) a(18) festival(19), too(20)? → 20 words, five under the limit.
Check against the conditions:
- One thing: sold yakisoba. ✔
- Reason with "because": "happy because many people came." ✔
- One question: "Did you have a festival, too?" ✔
- Within 25 words. ✔
Why it works: choose one activity, attach the feeling directly to "because" so a single word does the job of three "and"s, and end with a question Alex can answer in one line. The spare five words are a margin for a greeting added on a separate line, which the rule does not count.
3. Yuki asks why "and … and …" chaining is penalised even when the grammar is correct. Answer her.
Read the worked answer
Because "and" only adds; it never ranks, contrasts, or explains. A chain of clauses reads as a list of events with no main point, and the reader cannot see whether the writer knows the difference between this happened, this is why it happened, and this is what I think about it. Grammatically nothing is broken, but no relationship between the ideas has been expressed, so there is nothing for the marks to attach to.
The word limit is the second reason. Twenty-five words forces selection: a writer who tries to keep everything spends the budget on "very very" and "a lot of" and has nothing left for a reason. Subordinators - because, so, when, if, although - cost one word each and buy a whole relationship between two ideas, which is why they are worth more than three "and"s.