The 45-Word Club Email
Alex, a visiting student from New Zealand, will spend one day at your school on Wednesday, October 16, and will be in Mito until Saturday. The student council asks you to send Alex a short email recommending exactly one after-school club. The email must be 40–50 words and must include: the club name; the next meeting Alex can join (the cooking club meets Tuesdays and Fridays, and the Friday, October 18 meeting starts at 4:00 p.m. in the home economics room); one activity Alex can do there (make curry); and one reason Alex might enjoy it. Your draft is 63 words: 'Dear Alex, You should join the cooking club. We meet on Tuesday and Friday after school in the home economics room. We make simple dishes like curry and cookies. It is fun because you can eat what you make. Also, the science club is interesting and the music club has many members, so you have other choices too. Please come. Yuki'
1. Identify two rule violations in the draft and state exactly what to cut.
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The draft is 63 words, so it exceeds the 40–50 word limit. It also recommends more than one club: 'Also, the science club is interesting and the music club has many members, so you have other choices too.' That sentence is 19 words (from 'Also' through 'too'), and cutting it leaves 44 words, which is inside the limit. The cut also removes the violation of the 'exactly one club' rule. Do not cut the cooking club details yet, because the email still needs the club name, meeting time, activity, and reason. The first repair is therefore: delete the other-club sentence, then count again before rewriting.
2. Why is 'Tuesday and Friday' a problem for Alex's schedule, and what exact time expression should replace it?
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Alex visits the school on Wednesday, October 16, and is in Mito until Saturday. 'Tuesday and Friday' is a general schedule, not the next meeting Alex can join. The Tuesday meeting has already passed or is not available during Alex's visit. The email should name the specific next possible meeting: Friday, October 18 at 4:00 p.m. in the home economics room. Replacing the general days with that exact expression satisfies the task requirement and helps Alex decide whether to come. A good guided composition does not just give true information; it gives the information the reader needs for the stated visit.
3. Rewrite the email in 40–50 words. Explain your sentence order.
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Sample rewrite: 'Dear Alex, You should join the cooking club. Our next meeting is Friday, October 18 at 4:00 p.m. in the home economics room. We will make curry. It is fun because you can eat what you make. Please come. Yuki' - 40 words. The order is: club name first, then the exact date/time/place, then the activity, then the reason, then a closing. This order puts the practical information before the persuasion. The reason comes after Alex knows what the club is and when it meets, so the reason has something specific to support. The closing is short because the word limit is tight. The draft also keeps only one club, as required.