The 60-Word Email With Three Required Points
You are a second-year student at a Saga high school preparing for a short email-writing test. The prompt is a message from your Australian host family, the Wilsons: 'We are having a BBQ this Saturday at 1 p.m. Can you come?' The test has three required content points: thank them, accept but explain that you will arrive after 2 p.m. because your tennis club has a match, and ask what to bring. The reply must be 50-70 words and must include a greeting and a closing. Your first draft is: 'Thanks. I can come. I am busy before 2 p.m. because tennis. What should I bring? See you.' The draft is 20 words. Your teacher says the draft has the right ideas but will lose marks for tone and for missing required parts of an email.
1. Identify which three content points the draft includes and which required format elements it lacks. Then revise it to meet all constraints in 50-70 words.
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The draft includes the thanks ('Thanks'), the acceptance ('I can come'), and the question ('What should I bring?'). It lacks a greeting and a closing, and the explanation is too vague to count as a clear reason. A revision could be: 'Dear Mr and Mrs Wilson, Thank you very much for inviting me to the BBQ. I would love to come, but I have a tennis club match that day, so I will arrive after 2 p.m. I am looking forward to Saturday. Please let me know if I should bring anything. Best wishes, [Name]' That is about 54 words, includes a greeting and closing, and keeps all three content points. The revision adds words only where the draft was missing required information.
2. Why is 'I am busy before 2 p.m. because tennis' weak in a polite email? Rewrite that part with a clear reason and a specific arrival time.
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It is weak for three reasons: 'because tennis' is grammatically incomplete, 'busy' does not say why, and the host family still cannot plan when to expect the student. A polite email gives a reason and a time. A better version is: 'I have a tennis club match on Saturday afternoon, so I will not be able to arrive until about 2:30 p.m.' This is clear, specific, and polite without over-apologizing. The judgement is to give the host enough information to plan, not just to produce a grammatical sentence.
3. A classmate says adding 'I am looking forward to seeing you' is unnecessary because the email already thanks them. Do you agree? Explain in terms of register and the word limit.
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It is not strictly necessary, but it serves a different purpose. Thanks acknowledges the invitation, while a closing line expresses warmth and maintains the relationship. In a 50-70 word limit, it is worth including only if the three required points are already clear. If space is tight, a shorter closing such as 'See you Saturday' can do the same job. The judgement is to prioritize required content, then tone. Agreeing with the classmate without checking the word limit or the required points would miss the exam's balance between content and register.