A 30–40 Word Reply: Correcting a Visitor's Assumption
Emma, an exchange student from Australia, has just joined your class at a high school in Saitama. Your class will run a food booth at the school festival on Saturday. Emma sends you this email.
Hi! I'm really excited about the festival. Two questions: what time does it start, and how much money should I bring for lunch? See you tomorrow! Emma
Your teacher, Ms. Ito, gives you three pieces of information:
- The festival starts at 9:30.
- Emma does not need money for lunch: your class will give her a food ticket.
- Emma should come to Room 2B at 9:00 to meet the class before the opening.
Your task is to reply by email in 30–40 words. You must answer both of her questions and give her the meeting time. The greeting and your name count as words.
1. Write the reply. Give your word count, and explain what you decided to leave out and why.
Read the worked answer
Draft (35 words):
Hi Emma, Thanks for your email. The festival starts at 9:30. Please come to Room 2B at 9:00. You don't need money for lunch - our class will give you a ticket. See you Saturday! Yuki
Count: Hi(1) Emma(2) Thanks(3) for(4) your(5) email(6) The(7) festival(8) starts(9) at(10) 9:30(11) Please(12) come(13) to(14) Room(15) 2B(16) at(17) 9:00(18) You(19) don't(20) need(21) money(22) for(23) lunch(24) our(25) class(26) will(27) give(28) you(29) a(30) ticket(31) See(32) you(33) Saturday(34) Yuki(35).
Choices made:
- The question 'how much money' is not answered with a number. Ms. Ito's information says no money is needed, so the correct move is to correct the assumption politely, not to invent an amount.
- The 9:00 meeting is added even though Emma did not ask, because the teacher requires it.
- Cut: 'I'm excited too', booth details, and any explanation of the ticket system. They fill words without answering a question.
2. A classmate writes: 'Hi Emma. The festival starts at 9:30. Bring 500 yen for lunch. Come to 2B at 9:00.' Give two reasons why this reply fails the task.
Read the worked answer
It contains wrong information, and it is not a complete email.
- Wrong fact. 'Bring 500 yen for lunch' contradicts Ms. Ito: the class gives Emma a food ticket, so she needs no money. The writer has turned a question into an answer by guessing a number. A reader would trust it, arrive prepared to pay, and be embarrassed. When the facts you are given do not contain a number, do not supply one.
- Incomplete email. There is no closing and no name, so Emma cannot tell who wrote it, and the tone is a list of orders. 'Come to 2B' also lacks please and does not say the day.
Smaller point: '2B' is less clear than 'Room 2B'. The fix is not to write more words but to replace the invented amount with the true information: 'You don't need money - our class will give you a ticket.'
3. Your first draft is 47 words. What do you cut first, and what must never be cut?
Read the worked answer
Cut repetition and feelings first; never cut required information.
Cut first:
- Duplicated ideas: 'The festival starts at 9:30, so please be there at 9:30' → keep one.
- Social padding: 'I'm so happy you joined our class and I hope you are enjoying Japan'.
- Explaining what Emma will already see, such as a description of the food booth.
Never cut:
- The start time, 9:30.
- The fact that she needs no money because of the ticket - this is the answer that replaces her wrong assumption.
- The 9:00 meeting in Room 2B.
- A greeting and your name, since the task says they count and an unsigned email is incomplete.
Order of work: write the four information points as short sentences, check the question is answered, then count words. If you are over the limit, shorten phrases ('Please come to' → 'Please come to' stays; 'You don't need to bring any money' → 'You don't need money') rather than deleting content.