The 84-Word Email to a Manager
Tomas is preparing for Linguaskill Writing Part 1. The task says: 'You are going on a training course next week. Write an email to your manager, Ms Chen. Say why you cannot attend the team meeting on Friday and suggest another time.' The instruction says about 50 words. Tomas writes 84 words: 'Hi mate, I can't make the meeting on Friday because I'm on a course. Sorry about that. Can we do it another time? Also, do you know when we get paid? Cheers, Tomas.' He thinks longer is better and that 'Hi mate' is friendly. His teacher says the email would lose marks for tone and content. Tomas has 45 minutes for the whole Writing test and usually spends 25 minutes on Part 1, leaving 20 for Part 2. He wants to know whether to cut words or add more detail, and whether the extra question matters.
1. Identify the three most serious problems in Tomas's email and rank them. Justify the ranking in terms of the task's purpose and audience.
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Ranking.
- Content: no specific alternative time. The prompt asks for a suggestion; 'another time' is vague. This is the most serious because the email does not fully achieve its purpose.
- Register: 'Hi mate' and 'Cheers'. The audience is a manager, Ms Chen. The tone is too casual and may be judged inappropriate even though the grammar is clear.
- Extra question and length. 'When do we get paid?' is unrelated and makes the email look less controlled. At 84 words it is over the 50-word target, which costs time and may reduce clarity.
Reasoning. In a short writing task, task achievement and tone carry more weight than length. A longer email with relevant content can still communicate, but a missing bullet cannot be excused by good grammar. The extra question is not a major language error, but it distracts from the purpose and signals poor audience awareness. Fix content first, then register, then trim.
2. Rewrite the email in 50–60 words, keeping a neutral-polite register. Explain the choices you made.
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Rewrite (54 words): Dear Ms Chen, I'm writing to let you know that I can't attend Friday's team meeting because I'll be on a training course. Could we move the meeting to Monday morning or Tuesday afternoon instead? Please let me know which time suits you. I'm sorry for any inconvenience. Best regards, Tomas
Choices. 'Dear Ms Chen' and 'Best regards' set a neutral-polite register. 'I'm writing to let you know' is a soft opener that states the purpose without being blunt. The reason is in one clause, and the alternative time is specific: two options make it easy for the manager to reply. The apology is brief and placed at the end. The personal question is removed because it is off-task. The email keeps the two required points and stays close to 50 words, so it is quick to write and easy to check.
3. Tomas spends 25 minutes on Part 1. What time allocation would you recommend and why? Address the risk of cutting the email too short.
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Recommendation: 12–15 minutes for Part 1, 25–28 minutes for Part 2, 5 minutes to check. Part 1 is about 50 words and has two or three simple points; 25 minutes is far too long and signals that Tomas is over-editing or adding irrelevant content. Part 2 is much longer (around 180 words) and needs planning, drafting and checking, so it deserves the larger share.
Risk of cutting too short. The target is 'about 50 words', not '50 exactly'. If he writes 40 words and omits a bullet, he loses more than he gains. Aim for 50–60 words, cover every bullet, and use the saved time to plan Part 2. Practise with a timer: 3 minutes to plan, 8 minutes to write, 2 minutes to check. The extra question about pay is a time leak and should be cut first.