Cutting a 78-word draft to a 50-60 word summary
An O-Level candidate is practising summary writing. The source article is 290 words long and describes a school's 'no-plastic lunch' campaign. Key information in the article: the campaign was started by the Grade 10 Science Club; it ran for three months; the number of plastic wrappers in the canteen fell from about 1,200 a week to 400; reusable bottles were sold at cost price; the canteen replaced plastic bags with paper bags; some older students kept forgetting their bottles; paper bags overflowed the bins; the club put up reminder posters and added two extra bins; the next target is plastic pens. The question asks for a summary of 'the campaign and its results' in 50-60 words. The candidate's draft is 78 words: 'The school started a no-plastic lunch campaign. It was started by the Grade 10 Science Club. They sold reusable bottles at cost. The canteen used paper bags instead of plastic bags. Some older students forgot their bottles. The paper bags overflowed the bins. They put up posters and added bins. Next they will target plastic pens. It was successful because plastic wrappers went down from 1,200 to 400.'
1. Select the four points that best answer 'the campaign and its results'. State why each belongs and why two of the candidate's other points should be left out.
Read the worked answer
Best four points: (1) the campaign was started by the Grade 10 Science Club; (2) it ran for three months; (3) reusable bottles were sold at cost and the canteen switched to paper bags; (4) weekly plastic wrappers fell from about 1,200 to 400. These answer 'the campaign and its results': who ran it, how long, what changed, and the measurable result. Leave out 'some older students forgot their bottles' and 'paper bags overflowed the bins' because they are implementation problems, not the campaign or its results. Also leave out 'next target is plastic pens' because it is a future plan. 'They put up posters and added bins' is a solution to a problem, so it is secondary. A summary must select, not list everything.
2. The candidate's draft is 78 words. Identify which sentences are examples or side issues rather than main points, and explain the effect on the marker.
Read the worked answer
The draft includes examples and side issues: 'Some older students forgot their bottles', 'The paper bags overflowed the bins' and 'They put up posters and added bins' describe problems and fixes, not the campaign and results. 'Next they will target plastic pens' is a future plan. 'It was started by the Grade 10 Science Club' repeats 'The school started a no-plastic lunch campaign.' At 78 words, the draft is over the 60-word limit, so the marker may stop reading or penalise the summary. The extra detail also hides the key result, which should be the clearest sentence.
3. Rewrite the draft as a 50-60 word summary. Keep the campaign and results, not the problems and future plans.
Read the worked answer
Model summary (51 words): 'The campaign was organised by the Grade 10 Science Club and lasted three months. Reusable bottles were sold at cost, and the canteen replaced plastic bags with paper ones. Consequently, the number of plastic wrappers in the canteen dropped from about 1,200 a week to 400. This showed the campaign worked.' It keeps the organiser, duration, main actions and measurable result. It drops the problems, solutions and future plan. The linking word 'Consequently' makes the result stand out.