Report to the Principal, not a letter to a friend
A candidate is answering the directed-writing question. The task says: 'Your Principal has asked you, as secretary of the Environment Club, to write a report on the tree-planting event held on 12 March. The report will be read by the Principal and the school board.' The candidate's notes are: 40 students took part; 25 saplings planted; two parents donated tools; 10 saplings died because the watering rota was not followed; the club recommends assigning Form 3 volunteers to water the plants and buying 20 more saplings from Green Nursery at Rs 150 each. The candidate writes a letter beginning 'Hey buddy,' and says 'It was awesome' and 'We had a great time.' There are no headings. The report ends 'Can't wait to do it again!' The question awards marks for format, register and content.
1. Identify three features of the candidate's writing that are unsuitable for this task, and explain why each is a problem for the audience and purpose.
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Three unsuitable features: (1) 'Hey buddy,' is a friendly greeting for a friend, not a Principal and school board; it damages respect and shows the wrong audience. (2) 'It was awesome' and 'We had a great time' are vague, informal evaluations. A report needs factual evidence, such as numbers of students and saplings, and specific problems. (3) There are no headings or report structure. A report normally has a title, introduction, findings and recommendations, so the reader can find information quickly. 'Can't wait to do it again!' is also too casual for a formal report. These choices would lose format and register marks even if the content is accurate.
2. Rewrite the opening two sentences and the recommendation section in appropriate report style, using the notes.
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Opening: 'Report on the Tree-Planting Event, 12 March. This report describes the Environment Club tree-planting event and makes recommendations for future events. Forty students took part and 25 saplings were planted; two parents donated tools.' Recommendation: 'The club recommends that Form 3 volunteers be assigned to a watering rota, because 10 saplings died when the rota was not followed. It also recommends buying 20 more saplings from Green Nursery at Rs 150 each.' This keeps the facts, uses formal phrasing, and separates findings from recommendations. The heading and direct opening suit the Principal and board.
3. The candidate wants to include 'We had a great time.' Explain whether any place remains for personal enthusiasm in this report, and suggest a formal alternative if so.
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Personal enthusiasm can appear only as a brief, controlled evaluation, not as the report's main voice. Instead of 'We had a great time', write: 'The event was well attended and students worked cooperatively.' This is still positive but it is evidence-based and appropriate for a formal audience. If the report is for the Principal and board, the purpose is to inform and recommend, not to entertain. A single restrained sentence of evaluation is acceptable; exclamation marks and 'Can't wait' are not.