Proofreading the Food Bank Paragraph
A classmate asks you to proofread one paragraph of her ECCE application essay. The paragraph reads: 'Having volunteered at the food bank for three years, the new coordinator's schedule was difficult for me to learn. The coordinator, along with two other staff members, were responsible for assigning shifts. I was economical with my time, so I requested a fixed weekly slot. The experience taught me that nonprofit work requires both patience and a willingness to adapt.' Three portions are underlined: (1) 'Having volunteered... learn'; (2) 'were responsible'; (3) 'economical with my time.' The essay prompt asks applicants to describe a challenge and what they learned. Your classmate wants to keep her voice but is worried about grammar and word choice. You have ten minutes to give her the two or three most important corrections.
1. Explain the problem in the first sentence and give a revision.
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The problem is a dangling modifier. 'Having volunteered at the food bank for three years' describes the person who volunteered, but the main clause subject is 'the new coordinator's schedule.' A schedule cannot volunteer. The revision should make the intended subject explicit: 'Having volunteered at the food bank for three years, I found the new coordinator's schedule difficult to learn.' This keeps the perfect participle and the original meaning. A tempting alternative-'Having volunteered..., the schedule was difficult'-does not fix the dangling modifier because 'the schedule' is still the subject. Check by asking who performed the action in the introductory phrase; the answer must be the subject of the main clause.
2. Should 'were' be changed to 'was'? Explain using subject-verb agreement with interrupters.
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Yes. The grammatical subject is 'The coordinator,' which is singular. 'Along with two other staff members' is a parenthetical phrase, not part of a compound subject. Unlike 'and,' 'along with' does not create a plural subject. So the verb should be 'was responsible.' A useful test is to remove the phrase: 'The coordinator was responsible for assigning shifts' is correct. Some informal speech tolerates 'were' by proximity to 'members,' but ECCE grammar items test formal written agreement, and the singular verb is the defensible choice. If the sentence used 'and'-'The coordinator and two staff members were'-the plural would be correct.
3. Is 'economical with my time' the best choice? What would be clearer?
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'Economical' means thrifty or efficient in the use of resources, so 'economical with my time' is not grammatically wrong; it means she used time carefully. But it is slightly awkward in this context because 'economical' often describes money or machines, and the phrase can sound as if she were hoarding time. 'Efficient with my time' or 'careful to use my time well' would be clearer. 'Economic with my time' would be wrong because 'economic' relates to the economy or to profitability, not to personal thrift. The best revision keeps the meaning but removes the odd collocation: 'I used my time carefully, so I requested a fixed weekly slot.'