Choosing and Defending a Thesis in a 250-Word Composition
You are tutoring a Grade 12 student, May, who must write a 250-word argumentative composition for the matriculation examination. The prompt is: 'Mobile phones should not be allowed in secondary schools. Do you agree?' May has written three possible thesis statements:
A. 'Mobile phones are bad and should be banned.' B. 'Although phones can support learning, secondary schools should restrict them during lessons because they disrupt attention and increase bullying.' C. 'I think phones are useful, but sometimes they are not.'
She also has a plan: (1) introduction with thesis, (2) two reasons, (3) one counterargument, (4) conclusion. Her first body paragraph begins: 'Firstly, phones are very bad. They make students not listen. Everyone knows this.' May wants to score well but tends to write general statements.
1. Which thesis is strongest for a 250-word argumentative composition? Justify by comparing all three.
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B is strongest. A is a bare assertion ('bad') with no scope or reason; it invites the counterargument that phones are useful and gives the writer nothing to develop. C is a weak hedge ('sometimes') and states no position, so the essay would lack a clear line of argument. B is arguable, limited, and previews reasoning: it concedes a benefit ('can support learning') but restricts the ban to 'during lessons' and gives two causes ('disrupt attention', 'increase bullying'). For a 250-word exam composition, that scope is manageable: two body paragraphs plus a counterargument. The concession also makes the writer sound fair rather than one-sided.
2. Rewrite May's first body paragraph topic sentence so it supports thesis B and can be developed with evidence.
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Original: 'Firstly, phones are very bad. They make students not listen. Everyone knows this.' Problems: vague evaluative words ('bad'), no link to the thesis's focus on lessons, and an appeal to common knowledge instead of reasoning. Rewrite: 'During lessons, phones reduce attention because notifications and messages compete with the teacher's voice.' This is specific about time (during lessons), names a mechanism (notifications competing for attention), and avoids overclaiming. It can be supported with a classroom example or a simple cause-effect chain. It also leaves room for the counterargument later, because it does not say phones are worthless outside lessons.
3. How should May handle the counterargument without weakening her thesis?
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She should state the counterargument fairly and then limit it, not ignore it. For example: 'Some teachers argue that phones allow quick research. However, research during a lesson is usually a distraction unless the teacher directs it; a class set of reference books or a single classroom device can serve the same purpose without giving every student a screen.' This concedes the point that phones can support learning, which thesis B already allows, and then shows why the restriction still holds during lessons. The conclusion should return to the limited claim: restricted during lessons, not banned everywhere. Handling the counterargument this way strengthens credibility because the writer has considered the other side.