Too Short, Too Future: Prioritising Feedback on an Informal Email
A candidate has 5 minutes left in a MATSEC SEC German writing task. They must write an informal email of 80-100 words to their German exchange partner's parents: thank them for the invitation, give arrival time (Friday, 18:00), ask whether vegetarian food is available, and mention a small gift from Malta. The candidate has written 54 words: 'Liebe Familie Schmidt, vielen Dank für die Einladung. Ich werde am Freitag um 18 Uhr angekommen. Ich freue mich. Ich bringe ein Geschenk aus Malta mit. Bis bald, Luca.' They have used 'Sie' once in the second sentence ('Können Sie mir sagen...') but then deleted it. The mark scheme rewards task fulfilment, communication, accuracy and range. The candidate's spelling is good, but they have used future + past participle ('werde ... angekommen') and omitted the vegetarian question. They ask whether to add more adjectives or fix grammar first.
1. Rank the three most important improvements in order and justify the ranking against the mark scheme.
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Add the missing vegetarian question. Task fulfilment is threshold: the email must cover all four bullets. Without this question, the candidate has not done the communicative job, however good the spelling is. A simple informal version is: 'Könntet ihr mir bitte sagen, ob es auch vegetarische Gerichte gibt?'
Fix the arrival sentence. 'Ich werde am Freitag um 18 Uhr angekommen' mixes future 'werden' with a past participle. Correct options are 'Ich werde am Freitag um 18 Uhr ankommen' or, more naturally, 'Ich komme am Freitag um 18 Uhr an.' This is a clear accuracy error, but it does not block understanding as completely as a missing bullet.
Check register consistency. The task is informal, so 'ihr/euch' is appropriate; a stray 'Sie' would be inconsistent, though the candidate deleted it. Adding adjectives is lower priority than content and tense because range is rewarded only after the message is complete and clear.
2. Rewrite the arrival sentence and add the vegetarian question in a way that fits the informal register and the word limit.
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A suitable rewrite is: 'Ich komme am Freitag um 18:00 Uhr bei euch an. Könntet ihr mir bitte sagen, ob es auch vegetarische Gerichte gibt?' This uses the informal plural 'euch' and 'Könntet ihr', keeps the time, and asks the missing question directly.
If the candidate wants to keep a future form, 'Ich werde am Freitag um 18:00 Uhr bei euch ankommen' is correct because 'werden' is followed by the infinitive 'ankommen', not the participle 'angekommen'. The separable verb appears as 'ankommen' in the infinitive; in a main clause present tense it would split: 'Ich komme ... an.' Both versions fit the 80-100 word target better than adding adjectives to a 54-word text.
3. Why should the candidate not spend the remaining time adding adjectives and complex connectors?
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The script is 54 words, below the 80-word minimum, so the immediate problem is missing content, not insufficient decoration. Adjectives and connectors can raise the range score, but they will not compensate for an omitted bullet or a tense error that distorts the arrival time. With five minutes left, the candidate should first add the vegetarian question and correct the arrival sentence, then check the greeting and closing.
Adding complexity also increases the risk of new errors under time pressure. A short, complete, accurate email with informal register scores better than a longer email that still lacks one task point. If time remains after the content and tense fix, one natural connector such as 'Außerdem' or 'Übrigens' is enough; a list of adjectives is not the priority.