Revising an Ambiguous School Notice
A school sends this notice to families:
“Students who ride the late bus must bring a permission slip to the office signed by a parent before Friday.”
Parents call the office confused. Some ask whether the permission slip must be signed or whether the student must be signed. Others ask whether the Friday deadline applies to bringing the slip or to riding the late bus. The office wants a revision that removes both confusions without adding a new rule and without changing which students the notice applies to.
1. Identify the two ambiguities in the original sentence.
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First, “signed by a parent” is placed after “the office,” so readers cannot tell whether it describes the permission slip or something else in the chain of actions. The intended meaning is that the slip is parent-signed, but the placement leaves the student’s role unclear. Second, “before Friday” sits at the end of the sentence, so it could attach to “bring a permission slip” or to “ride the late bus.” A reader could think students must ride the bus before Friday, when the office means the slip must be brought in before Friday.
2. Write a revision that removes both ambiguities, and explain how the revision does so.
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One revision is: “Students who plan to ride the late bus must bring a permission slip signed by a parent to the office by Friday.” Placing “signed by a parent” immediately after “permission slip” makes clear that the slip, not the student, is signed. Moving the deadline to “by Friday” directly after “to the office” makes clear that Friday is the deadline for bringing the slip. “Who plan to ride” keeps the notice aimed at the same group of students without adding a new rule about when they may ride.
3. Another staff member suggests: “Students must bring a signed permission slip to the office before Friday if they ride the late bus.” Is this an improvement? Explain.
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It is only a partial improvement. “Signed permission slip” removes the first ambiguity because it is clear that the slip is signed. But the sentence now puts “if they ride the late bus” at the very end, so the late-bus condition is separated from “Students,” and some readers may briefly attach it to “before Friday” or to the office visit. The original problem of the deadline is also still present: “before Friday” appears before the late-bus clause. The earlier revision is stronger because it puts the late-bus group first and keeps the deadline next to the action it limits.