The kārearea that belongs to someone else's story
A 19-year-old composer has eight weeks to finish an original composition for a regional competition, where the original item carries 20 per cent of the marks. The draft is a four-part haka with a strong opening, written for a rōpū of Ngāi Tahu descent in a southern town. Three problems have surfaced. The second verse calls a young leader 'he kārearea e topa ana i te rangi'. A kaumātua from the local marae says the kārearea is not the guardian bird of that place; the local kōrero associates the toroa with the tūpuna, and the kārearea belongs to a different story, one about a man who stole from his own whanaunga. The draft also writes 'ka tū te pa o te iwi' without a macron. And the group's elders use 'kā' for 'ngā' and 'w' for 'wh' in some words in their own speech, while the composer, who grew up in Hamilton, uses standard northern forms throughout. The composer says the bird image is 'my metaphor' and that the dialect is 'not how I speak'. The rōpū's tutor is worried about the judging panel, which includes two kaumātua from other rohe.
1. Sort the three issues into matters of correctness, register, and local kōrero. Explain the consequence of each for the composer.
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Macron: correctness. 'Pa' and 'pā' are different words. As written, 'ka tū te pa o te iwi' says something other than what the composer means. This is not negotiable and not a matter of taste; fix it and check every macron in the draft, since one error usually signals others.
Dialect: register. 'Kā' for 'ngā' and 'w' for 'wh' are not errors; they are features of the local reo. But the item is not a private lyric - it is written for this rōpū, in this place, for a panel that includes kaumātua from other rohe. The choice is a kaupapa decision, not a grammar decision. Two cautions: hypercorrect 'kā' inserted by a northern speaker will sound wrong to local ears, and a fully northern item from a southern rōpū may read as a missed opportunity rather than a fault.
Bird: local kōrero. This is the deepest of the three. The composer's claim to 'my metaphor' is real for the invention, but not for the bird's associations. A guardian bird in local kōrero carries whakapapa; choosing it is a relationship, not a private symbol. Using the kārearea while the local guardian is the toroa does not just risk offence - it imports a story about theft into a praise poem for a young leader, which undermines the verse's own intent.
The consequence: fix the macron without discussion, negotiate the dialect, and treat the bird as a matter for the kaumātua, not the composer alone.
2. Rewrite the bird line and the macron line, and explain the metrical and semantic choices you made.
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Macron line:
Ka tū te pā o te iwi.
No further change needed; the meaning is now 'the pā of the people stands'.
Bird line, two options depending on what the verse is doing:
He toroa e rere i te rangi.
He toroa e au i te moana.
The original 'he kārearea e topa ana i te rangi' runs about eleven syllables and lands on a rising stress at 'rangi'. 'He toroa e rere i te rangi' keeps nine syllables, keeps the sky image, and keeps a falling close - it fits the same beat and does not require the rōpū to relearn the entry. But the toroa is a sea bird; if the verse is about endurance over distance rather than height, 'e au i te moana' is stronger and gives the haka a slower, heavier line, which may suit the second verse better than the original flight image.
What I would not do is substitute the toroa into the same 'topa ana' construction and call it fixed. 'Topa' belongs to the kārearea's movement; the toroa's movement is glide and beat, not the falcon's hover-and-stoop. The verb should change with the bird, or the image is a costume change.
Both options should be read aloud with the rōpū before choosing; the metre is a performance fact, not a page fact.
3. The composer argues that the northern forms are 'how I speak'. How would you advise the rōpū?
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Take the argument seriously - a young composer's reo should not be erased to satisfy a panel - then test it against what the item is for.
A haka is not a diary. It is written for a rōpū, performed in a place, and heard by judges and by the local marae. Those are three constraints alongside the composer's voice, not instead of it.
A workable split:
- Sections where the composer speaks in their own person - the opening address, the personal dedication - can keep northern forms. That is the composer's reo and it is legitimate.
- Sections where the item speaks as the rōpū, in this place - the whakaeke, the references to local tūpuna and landmarks - should use local forms, because those lines are making a claim about belonging.
- Consistency matters more than the choice. A draft that lurches between forms for no reason reads as uncertain. The panel will hear inconsistency faster than it will hear a dialect preference.
Practical steps: appoint a reo advisor from the local marae, ask them to mark the draft line by line, and produce a written pronunciation guide for the 24 performers so the whole rōpū sounds the same. Tell the composer the principle plainly: the reo of the item is a kaupapa decision, and their own reo is safe inside it.