Later Start Time Letter: Grammar and Source Choice
Devon is revising a letter to the principal asking the school day to start at 8:30 instead of 7:45. His draft includes this sentence: 'The research on adolescent sleep is clear, students need more sleep, and our school should start later.' He has three sources: a health report stating that most teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep per night; a school survey in which 62% of students reported getting less than 7 hours on school nights; and a neighboring district's report that tardies fell by 18% in the year after it moved its start time to 8:30. Devon wants to use a colon correctly, avoid a comma splice, and choose the evidence that best supports the claim about tardies. He also wants a transition that signals the neighboring district is an example, not a contradiction.
1. Revise Devon's draft sentence so it is grammatically standard and uses a colon correctly. Keep the same three ideas.
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One correct revision is: 'The research on adolescent sleep is clear: students need more sleep, and our school should start later.' The colon introduces the explanation of what is clear. The original comma after 'clear' created a comma splice because it joined two independent clauses without a conjunction. The revision keeps the three ideas but uses the colon to show that the second part explains the first.
2. Which source best supports the claim that a later start time would reduce tardies at Devon's school? Explain why the other two sources are less direct.
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The neighboring district's report is the best support because it describes an actual start-time change and an 18% drop in tardies. The health report supports the general need for more sleep, but it says nothing about tardies. The school survey shows that many students get too little sleep, but it does not link a later start time to attendance. The neighboring district is also not proof that Devon's school would see the same result, so the letter should avoid saying the change would definitely cause an 18% drop.
3. Write a transition sentence to introduce the neighboring district evidence. It should make clear that the district is an example and should not overstate causation.
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For example, a neighboring district that moved its start time to 8:30 reported an 18% drop in tardies the following year, although other factors may also have contributed. The phrase 'for example' signals that the district is an illustration rather than a contradiction. The word 'reported' and the concession 'although other factors may also have contributed' keep the claim cautious instead of asserting that the start time alone caused the drop.