Revising a Lab-Safety Paragraph Under Constraints
A tutoring client brings in this draft for a lab-safety handout. His instructor requires the final version to be under 60 words, to keep a formal tone, and to state the deadline as a specific date (Friday, October 4). The draft:
"Each of the students in the lab section are required to submit a safety quiz before they may handle chemicals. The quiz, which covers goggles, spills, and eyewear, take about ten minutes. Students who fails to complete it by Friday will not be permitted to begin the experiment, they will have to wait until the following week."
1. Fix the subject-verb agreement in the first sentence and explain why the error is easy to miss.
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Correction: "Each of the students in the lab section is required…"
Why it is easy to miss: the verb sits right after "section," and the nearest noun before it is plural ("students"), so the ear hears a plural subject. The grammatical subject is "Each," which is singular, and a prepositional phrase ("of the students in the lab section") never changes the number of the subject. Read the skeleton: Each … is required.
Knock-on issue: "they may handle" then refers back to a singular "each." That is acceptable in modern usage, but a formal handout can sidestep the debate: "Each student in the lab section must submit a safety quiz before handling chemicals." Singular "student," no pronoun problem, and shorter - which matters under the 60-word limit.
2. Repair the second sentence, including the comma logic and the word list.
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Two fixes and one judgment call.
- Agreement: "The quiz … takes about ten minutes." Subject is "quiz" (singular); "which covers goggles, spills, and eyewear" is a nonrestrictive clause set off by commas, so it does not change the subject.
- Comma logic: the pair of commas around the clause is correct and must stay paired - dropping one creates a boundary error.
- Word list: "goggles … and eyewear" names the same category twice. That is redundancy, not a grammar error, and it also crowds the word count. Consolidate without adding new content: "The quiz, which covers eyewear and spill response, takes about ten minutes."
Note the constraint trap: if the instructor's content list is fixed, keep both items and cut words elsewhere. Confirm before deleting required content.
3. Fix the third sentence, then produce a complete revision that meets all three instructor constraints.
Read the worked answer
Original: "Students who fails to complete it by Friday will not be permitted to begin the experiment, they will have to wait until the following week."
Errors: (a) "Students who fails" - the relative clause takes its number from "students," so "fail"; (b) the comma between "experiment" and "they" is a comma splice - two independent clauses joined by a comma alone. Options: semicolon, period, or a subordinating word.
Full revision (54 words):
Each student in the lab section must submit a safety quiz before handling chemicals. The quiz, which covers eyewear and spill response, takes about ten minutes. Students who fail to complete it by Friday, October 4, will not begin the experiment; they will wait until the following week.
Constraint check: 54 words (under 60) ✔; no contractions or slang, imperative "must" consistent with a formal handout ✔; deadline given as Friday, October 4 ✔.