Persuasive Writing: The School Canteen Survey
A Year 7 class is preparing a persuasive letter to the principal about changing the canteen menu. The class surveyed 120 students: 72 said they would buy more fruit if it were cheaper, 48 said they would not change their habits, and 30 said they would buy more fruit only if it were cut up and ready to eat. The principal has said she will consider the proposal only if it is supported by clear evidence and addresses possible objections. One student writes: 'Everyone wants cheaper fruit, so the canteen should lower prices immediately.' Another writes: 'Many students would buy more fruit if it were affordable, and even more would if it were convenient.' The teacher asks you to help the class revise their arguments so they are convincing and fair.
1. Explain why the first student's statement is weak for a persuasive letter, and rewrite it as a stronger claim using the survey data.
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The first statement is weak because it uses the absolute word 'Everyone', which is not supported by the data: only 72 out of 120 students (60%) said they would buy more fruit if it were cheaper, and 30 more said they would buy more only if it were cut up. So not everyone wants cheaper fruit, and some have a different condition. Also, 'lower prices immediately' is a demand without evidence of feasibility or cost. A stronger claim would be: 'A majority of students (72 out of 120) said they would buy more fruit if it were cheaper, and a further 30 said they would buy more if it were ready to eat. This suggests that making fruit more affordable and convenient could increase fruit sales.' This version uses specific numbers, avoids overgeneralisation, and links the evidence to a proposal.
2. The second student's statement says 'even more would if it were convenient.' Using the survey numbers, explain whether this is accurate, and suggest a more precise wording.
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The statement is not accurate as written. 'Even more' suggests that the number who would buy more fruit if it were convenient is greater than the number who would buy more if it were cheaper. But the survey shows 72 students would buy more if it were cheaper, and only 30 said they would buy more only if it were cut up. So fewer, not more, named convenience as their sole condition. However, the 30 are additional to the 72, so the total who might buy more fruit under some condition is 102. A more precise wording would be: 'While 72 students said they would buy more fruit if it were cheaper, a further 30 said they would buy more only if it were cut up and ready to eat. This shows that both price and convenience matter.' That wording is accurate and still persuasive.
3. The principal is concerned about cost. Write a sentence the class could add to acknowledge this objection and respond to it, using the survey data.
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A possible sentence: 'We understand that lowering prices or preparing fruit may cost the canteen more, but with 102 out of 120 students saying they would buy more fruit under at least one of these conditions, the increased sales could offset some of the cost.' This sentence acknowledges the principal's concern (cost) and responds with evidence (potential increased sales). It does not overpromise; it says 'could offset some of the cost', which is appropriately cautious. It also uses the combined figure of 102, which is the sum of 72 and 30, assuming no overlap. If some students would buy more under both conditions, the number could be lower, so the class should check whether the survey allowed multiple answers. If it did, the 102 might double-count some students. A safer wording would be 'up to 102 students', or the class could report the two groups separately.