Choosing Keigo When Speaking About Your Own Family to a Host Family
You are on exchange in Nagoya staying with the Suzuki family. At dinner, Suzuki-san asks about your family: ご家族はどんな方ですか。You want to say: my father works at a hospital; my mother likes cooking; my older sister is a university student. A classmate told you to use お父さん、お母さん、お姉さん because 'that is what Japanese people say'. You also want to ask Suzuki-san about her work using appropriate respectful language. You are unsure which honorific forms apply to your own family versus hers.
1. Explain the rule for referring to your own family versus the host family's family, with correct forms.
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When speaking about your own family to an out-group person, use humble/plain forms: 父 (ちち)、母 (はは)、姉 (あね)。When referring to the other person's family, use respectful forms: お父さん、お母さん、お姉さん。So say: 父は病院で働いています。母は料理が好きです。姉は大学生です。Using お父さん for your own father to the Suzukis would sound as if you were elevating your own family, which is inappropriate. Note that within your own household you might use お父さん, but in conversation with the host family, humble forms are correct.
2. Write the question you would ask Suzuki-san about her work, and justify the keigo.
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Example: 鈴木さんのお仕事は何ですか。or more politely: お仕事は何をなさっているんですか。The prefix お- and なさる are sonkeigo elevating the host's action. Avoid 何をしていますか for her, which is neutral-to-plain and less respectful. Do not use humble forms like いたす for her actions.