Writing: The Persuasive Task That Forgot Its Reader
Lena chooses a persuasive writing task: a letter to the school principal arguing that the school should offer more Chinese cultural activities. She writes 400 words, well above the minimum, with strong vocabulary and complex sentences. She opens by describing her own love of Chinese calligraphy, lists five activity ideas, and closes by saying the school 'must' act. Her teacher's feedback notes that the register is inconsistent, the argument assumes agreement, and the letter does not address the principal's likely concerns about cost and timetabling. Lena is frustrated because she believes her language is strong.
1. Explain why strong language alone did not make this an effective persuasive piece.
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Persuasive writing is judged on audience and purpose as well as accuracy and range. Lena's letter reads as self-expression: it centres her own enthusiasm and lists ideas without arguing why the principal should prioritise them. It also assumes the reader already agrees, so it never engages the real obstacles of budget and timetable. The register slips between a personal, emotional opening and a demanding 'must' close, which can read as presumptuous to a principal. Strong vocabulary cannot compensate for an argument that does not anticipate the reader's position; the criteria reward control of text type and audience awareness.
2. Show how Lena could restructure the letter to address the principal's concerns while keeping her personal angle.
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She could open with a brief, concrete observation about student interest, then state a clear proposal, then devote the body to pre-empting objections: a low-cost pilot using existing staff and lunchtime slots, evidence of demand from a short survey, and a modest first step that limits risk. Her calligraphy experience becomes a short illustration of benefit rather than the frame. The close should request a specific, reasonable action, such as a meeting or a trial term, rather than demand. This keeps her voice while shifting the letter from self-expression to negotiation, which is what the task rewards.
3. Lena argues that using 'must' shows confidence. Evaluate this claim in terms of register.
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Confidence in persuasive writing comes from a well-supported case, not from modal force. In a formal letter to a principal, 'must' can read as confrontational and may undermine the respectful distance the relationship requires; softer formulations such as 'I would urge the school to consider' or 'there is a strong case for' carry equal conviction with better register. The judgement is context-dependent: strong directives suit an opinion piece aimed at the public, but a letter to a superior calls for firmness within courtesy. Lena should match her level of assertion to the relationship and the text type, not to her own intensity of feeling.