The Quiet Guest at the End of the Bar
A woman in her fifties sits alone at the end of the bar. She has had one glass of wine in 90 minutes and has barely touched it. She is tearful, keeps checking her phone, and mentions she "lost her job this morning" and "doesn't want to go home." She asks for a second glass but says she is not hungry and waves off food. She is not slurring, not unsteady, and her speech is clear. She asks you, quietly, whether the bar has a phone charger and whether you would "just keep the wine coming, honestly." It is 8:00 p.m. and the bar is half full.
1. Is she intoxicated? What is the actual risk here, and how does it change your service decision?
Read the worked answer
On the standard impairment signs she is not intoxicated: one glass over 90 minutes, clear speech, steady balance, no motor misses. So the intoxication rule alone does not require a cutoff yet.
The real risk is different. She is in acute distress, drinking to cope, and asking you to "keep the wine coming." That is a pattern that trends toward rapid intake and impairment, and it also raises a duty-of-care question. Serving her without limit would likely produce intoxication later in the evening, and the venue would then be serving an impaired person. There is also a safety concern: a distressed person who drinks heavily and drives, or who is alone and vulnerable, is a foreseeable harm.
So the decision is not "serve or refuse" but "serve slowly and with care." Pour the second glass, pair it with water and food, slow the pace, check in, and set a personal limit. If she escalates intake or shows any impairment sign, cut off alcohol and offer support and transport options.
2. She becomes more upset and says, "You're the only person who's talked to me all day." What do you say and do, and where are the boundaries?
Read the worked answer
Acknowledge the person, not just the drink: "That sounds like a really hard day. I'm glad you're here, and I want you to get home safe." Offer water, a snack, and a charger. Keep the conversation brief and warm without becoming a counselor; you are not trained for crisis support and the bar is a public workplace.
Boundaries: do not promise unlimited drinks, do not lend money, do not share personal contact details, and do not leave your post to sit with her. If she mentions self-harm or being unsafe, treat it as a safety issue and involve the manager; if there is immediate risk, call emergency services. Set the limit clearly and kindly: "I'll bring you this one and some water, and then I'll check on you in a bit." If she becomes impaired, stop alcohol, arrange a ride, and document. The goal is a safe exit, not a sale.