Editing the Examination Notice
The office at a fictional secondary school has drafted a notice for the noticeboard and the school's messaging app. The school has 240 examination candidates and one clerk. The draft reads: 'Students who have not collected their examination slips by Friday should report to the office immediately because they will not be allowed to sit the examination. The examination will begin at 9:00 a.m. students should arrive by 8:30. No students are permitted to enter the examination room wearing watches of any kind. Any student having completed the oral examination, the slips were collected by the teacher.' The principal is worried that parents will misread the notice, that the tone is harsh, and that the last sentence is confusing. She also wants the notice to tell students where to collect slips. The notice must fit in a 90-word box on the board and be suitable for both students and parents.
1. Explain the ambiguity in the first sentence. How could a student misunderstand it?
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The problem is the word 'because'. It can attach to 'should report': students are told to report immediately because they will not be allowed to sit. But the intended meaning is probably: if slips are not collected by Friday, the student will not be allowed to sit. Those are different messages.
A student might read the sentence and think, 'I have not collected my slip, so I am already barred; reporting will not help.' Another might think, 'I will report on Friday and that will fix it,' even though the real requirement is to collect the slip by Friday. The word 'immediately' also conflicts with the Friday deadline: it suggests urgency now rather than a deadline. The sentence needs to separate the condition from the consequence: 'Candidates who have not collected their slips by Friday must go to the office that day. Candidates without a slip will not be allowed to sit the examination.'
2. The last sentence is confusing. Identify the grammatical problem and rewrite it.
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The sentence is: 'Any student having completed the oral examination, the slips were collected by the teacher.' The grammatical problem is a dangling or misrelated participle. 'Having completed the oral examination' seems to describe 'any student', but the main clause subject is 'the slips', and the sentence never says what any student does. The result is that the slips appear to have completed the oral examination.
A clear rewrite is: 'After students complete the oral examination, the teacher will collect their slips.' This makes the sequence clear, gives the main clause a sensible subject, and keeps the passive voice out of the way. If the school wants a more formal tone, it could write: 'Following the oral examination, students' slips will be collected by the teacher.' The first version is preferable for a notice because it is shorter and easier for parents to follow.
3. Rewrite the whole notice in no more than 90 words, suitable for students and parents, including where to collect slips.
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Examination slips are available from the school office. Candidates who have not collected their slips by Friday must go to the office that day. Candidates without a slip will not be allowed to sit the examination. The examination begins at 9:00 a.m.; candidates should arrive by 8:30. Watches may not be worn in the examination room. After the oral examination, the teacher will collect slips. Parents are asked to help candidates arrive on time.
Why this works: the notice is 75 words, so it fits the box. It states the location, the deadline, the consequence and the arrival time in that order. It removes the ambiguous 'because' and the dangling participle. The tone is firm but not harsh: 'must go' and 'will not be allowed' are clear rules, while 'Parents are asked to help' invites cooperation. It is suitable for both audiences because it uses plain words and avoids blame.